Maelstrom 19 Conversations Part 3
by illmatar
Summary: This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes and B for BAD HUMOR! This is also where Rodimus figures out why some of his friends back home have been acting...wrong. Ultra Magnus, Hot Rod, Arcee, Springer, Rodimus Prime
1. Chapter 1

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part A

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?

Part A

They were all exhausted, stressed, and filthy. Turns at the shower came in priority of who was covered in the most blood.

Foul Play got to go first, followed by Hot Rod, then Arcee. Lancer reheated the water for Magnus, Marissa, and Springer on the sly, and she and Rodi even waited for Carly and Spike. The assassin pair felt their hosts needed the emotional cleansing more than they needed a physical one.

Once clean, Rodimus came down with shirt in hand, and Lancer brought out her medical kit. Blocking the building from landing on Foul Play and Hot Rod had damaged Rodi's housing. As a robot, it had been a bad dent for him. As a human, it translated into a long bruise and a slight gash which needed stitching. He hardly felt it, and had wrapped it up in the stall in the restroom to keep it from bleeding.

Neither of them thought a thing of doing minor stitches in Carly's kitchen. It had the best light in the house. Hot Rod, Foul Play, and Springer were already at their seats. They weren't talking. Rodimus nodded at everyone and sat down. Lancer put her kit on the table.

Marissa came in behind them. She greeted them with deceptive energy. The tension at the table bothered her and she was hoping to diffuse it. "Lancer, Rodi how are you guys do...Rodi! You're bleeding!" Marissa exclaimed. She threw the towel she was using on her hair to the floor.

"Thanks, Doc," Rodi said, blinking stupidly at her and smiling. Lancer snorted and threaded her curved needle.

"Be good or I'll give you a tattoo instead of first aid," she threatened.

"How...when did you get that?" Marissa asked.

"Blocking a falling building," Rodi said with a grin, winking at Foul Play.

The Decepticon's mouth fell open and she blanched. All of a sudden she was feeling very out of place and defensive again. Surely, having injured a ranking Autobot, she would be punished. The wink and the grin merely frightened her. They seemed so out of place.

"Forgive me," she whispered to him.

He chuckled, "Oh it was worth it to see the look on Brawl's face when you beaned him." Rodi sobered slightly, "That was brave by the way. Suicidal and stupid, but brave."

"Yeah, and you are talking to a guy who KNOWS suicidal, stupid, and brave Foul Play," Lancer said. "You can trust his judgement. Especially the stupid part."

"You are going to get it later," Rodimus said.

"OO...do you promise? I think you are so sexy when you bleed," Lancer said.

"Cranky!"

"I could have blasted it away dumb ass, but you had to go for the block!"

"I was closer."

"Next time DUCK! Do not feel sorry for him Foul Play. He had other options. He just likes things suicidal and stupid," Lancer growled. She grabbed Rodi's arm, repositioned it, and threw her first stitch. "This takes me back to when we were dating."

Arcee came in and sat down next to her mate without a word. Lancer felt like some weird side show. They all watched intently while she put 8 precise stitches along the wound. Hot Rod turned sort of green, but never looked away. Once she finished no one seemed to know where to look. Lancer and Rodi both sighed. The thoughts that flashed between them contained few words and much annoyance.

"What's this?" Carly asked as she came in with the baby. "You told me at the restaurant no one got really hurt!"

"I'm not that hurt...and I did tell you," Rodi protested.

"You said you got a dent," Carly reminded him.

"Right...and a dent like that turns into a bit of a cut when I shift down," Rodimus explained.

"You should be at a hospital then," Carly informed him.

"Lancer has lots of experience. Besides, I can't go to a human hospital. I'm not human...and they would notice."

"Fine...how's about paying Ratchet a visit?" Carly argued. "That's a bad gash."

"I love you too Mrs. Witwicky. I'm fine. The stitches can probably come out by tomorrow. There's nothing to bother Ratchet about," Rodimus reassured her.

Carly looked to Lancer to disclaim Rodi's assumed exaggerations and was surprised to see the mutant nodding.

"He's telling the truth. It's part of his metabolism. If I can't take them out tomorrow, then the day after for sure," Lancer said. "You'd better eat tonight though."

"I'll be good," Rodi assured her. Looking at Carly's raised eyebrows he said, "I will! Healing uses a lot of energy."

"You shouldn't have to heal at all," Arcee muttered under her breath.

"It's fine Arcee," Rodimus said firmly. "Don't look so worried Foul Play, I'm not going to take it out on you!"

"Why not?" she asked.

"What do you mean 'Why not'," Rodi responded. "Do you want me to be angry with you?"

"I think I'd feel more comfortable with that," Foul Play said in a whisper.

"Don't be silly," Rodimus said.

"Why aren't you angry?" Foul Play said, raising her voice in accusation. "It is stupid you aren't angry! I did something foolish and a ranking officer got hurt! A grunt like me should be punished for that!"

"Hey! You're not a grunt!" Hot Rod cried.

Foul Play ignored him. "Why aren't you angry? Mistakes like that are unforgivable!"

"No mistake is unforgivable as long as it's really a mistake," Rodimus said. "You won't make that mistake again. What good would punishing you for it do?"

"You Autobots make no sense! Decepticon commanders punish everyone under them for failures, even if they weren't responsible, but you won't even make me pay when I AM responsible?"

"Did you mean to get me hurt?" Rodimus asked compassionately.

"No...of course not," Foul Play said.

"Are you the one who decided to block that damned building with my arm?"

"No."

"So punishing you would be a waste of my time and energy Sister Midnight. Not to mention a real boring way to spend an evening. I'd rather spend my time doing something productive, fun, or if I can manage it, both. Maybe after dinner tonight we can stage another raid on Metroplex. I thought of some more nice tunes to torture Op with. See? Fun...and productive!" Rodimus grinned at her. She stared at him as though convinced he was dangerously insane.

"No? Doesn't sound cool? Maybe you'd rather stay home? Carly bought ice cream," Rodimus suggested seductively.

"Ice cream!?" Arcee exploded. "All she cares about is her ice cream! She's...she's one of them! And....and she has the nerve to act surprised about the glass in her ice cream! How dare you? How dare you be upset or indignant or whatever you think you feel?! Three people died today! Died! Even if they weren't hurt they lost their homes! Everything in their lives will be harder and...and sadder...and... YOU!" Arcee snarled, turning on Rodimus. "You are a Prime supposedly and you treat her like one of us. So do you Ultra Magnus! She's the enemy! You are forgetting that! And Lancer! You are teaching her the same as the rest of us! You are arming a Decepticon!"

Lancer's eyes glowed, and she drew herself up. "Keep me out of your arguments Arcee," Lancer said, not quite growling. "I am not an Autobot, nor under an Autobot's command. I am Lancer of the Maelstrom and I teach whomever I choose. If you have a problem with that, you can try stopping me."

"Is that a threat?" Arcee demanded.

"If you try me you can find out," Lancer said with a feral grin.

"Lancer...." Rodimus said.

"Finish that sentence Love, and I'll rip your arm out like I did the last time," Lancer intoned. "See Foul Play? A few stitches are really not something to get too upset about when your mate has already removed your arm at the shoulder."

"You are insane," Arcee pronounced.

Lancer didn't answer, but her grin grew fangs.

"Arcee..." Magnus said ominously. He didn't mind her speaking her opinion, but her tone was approaching disrespectful. Then again so was Lancer's, but she wasn't his to discipline.

In the mean time the blondes were staring each other down.

"You mean to tell me you don't side with Rodimus in your dimension?" Arcee asked shrilly.

"Siding with him and taking orders from him are different things...and you forget. In our dimension the Cons were manipulated into fighting by Vector Sigma. They were its pawns. Now they are Rodimus' pawns. If we win, some day they will be nobody's pawns and we will see how they shake out on an individual basis."

Foul Play and Arcee both shook their heads in unison. "You can't just forgive them!" Arcee cried. "HUMANS like you have died because of them Lancer! Because of you Foul Play! I'm disgusted to be under the same roof as a murderer like you!"

"Arcee..." Magnus intoned again.

"She should be locked up! Not here playing video games and eating ice cream! I don't know why you or Optimus allowed her here Ultra Magnus, but I think you have both lost your logic circuits!"

"ARCEE!" Magnus roared, slamming both hands down on Carly's heavy walnut table. The sound rattled the windows and was only slightly less deafening than the silence which followed.

Hot Rod's and Springer's eyes were as wide as Arcee's. Lancer arched an eyebrow and Rodimus folded his arms, leaned back and shut his eyes. A faint smirk crossed his features.

Magnus leaned forward across the table. No one else would have been able to get their face all the way across that expanse, but Arcee suddenly found her commander's nose just inches from her own.

"You will stop right there. You have a right to say what is on your mind but while you are under MY command you will keep a respectful tone in your voice! One more word out of you and I will make you regret it! NOD if you understand me!"

Arcee, more pale than usual, nodded once fast and saluted.

"Right," Magnus said. "You salute me. I think maybe you forgot that. Now. You have been living under the same roof as Foul Play for months. You've shared space, food, and time with her. You've even played games with her, and NOW you get upset about it? You aren't upset at Foul Play! You are upset about what we saw today! You aren't angry it came as a shock to her, you are angry because it was a shock to YOU! You are just taking it out on her."

Arcee bit her lip and looked defiant, but her eyes filled with tears.

"Ultra Magnus," Foul Play whispered. "This is all my fault. Maybe I should go somewhere else."

"No way!" Hot Rod cried involuntarily. "You shouldn't have to leave because Arcee is having a problem." He sneered a little at Arcee.

Magnus raised both hands full over his head and slammed the table again even louder. "QUIET!" he bellowed furiously. Hot Rod rocked back in his chair in astonishment so violently he almost fell.

There was a faint snort of suppressed laughter.

Magnus whirled on Rodimus, who was plainly struggling to keep a straight face.

Magnus glared lighting bolts at Prime.

Rodimus smiled outright and shrugged. "It's always a pleasure seeing a master at work," he explained. "Nostalgia got me is all."

"You are not helpful," Magnus pointed out.

Hot Rod glared at his twin as if the elder had betrayed him somehow.

"Don't look at me like that Junior," Rodimus said seriously. "If you were my responsibility you would be pulling late watches for a year and be enrolled in one of Lancer's more brutal courses. My troops are VERY well behaved because they think I'm a monster. How do you think I graduated from Ingrate to Asshole anyway? If you can't be respectful then I suggest most humbly that you shut up."

"Don't..." Foul Play said tearfully to Hot Rod, "Don't get in trouble for me! Please Ultra Magnus! Tell me what to do! I didn't mean to cause trouble! I didn't...I didn't understand about ice cream...about anything!"

"What do you mean Foul Play? 'You didn't understand about ice cream?'" Lancer prompted.

Foul Play winced, and looked at Arcee, pleading with her to understand. "When you are a Decepticon...life...never changes. You only know who is above you, and who is below you in rank. You guard against those below you as they try to move up, and you know those above you are suspicious and oppressive because they are guarding against you. They only thing that changes are the names as people move through the ranks or are eliminated. You follow the strongest and try to stay strong so no one will mess with you. That is life....that is all there is." Foul Play took a huge breath and closed her eyes. "You see? It didn't make sense to join the Autobots because what difference would it make? Optimus Prime is just a different Megatron...and getting away to join him is too dangerous. Why bother when it is all the same? As for the humans, why are they fighting? Can't they see Megatron is so powerful? If they would just submit it would save so much time and energy.  
You think I am surprised about the destruction Arcee? I'm surprised about everything! I know now...why humans fight... they fight for ice cream... I mean...they fight for a quiet life... to go where you want...spend time just... just having lunch with people you like... having lunch with. I'm...I'm not explaining this well. I've never had to....think this way. Carly asks me what I want to eat and I don't know how to answer. I've...never had a choice to make and I don't know how..."

"Being able to make choices is something you learn Foul Play," Magnus said. "You've never had the chance before. I know what that's like."

Foul Play glanced at him, but she went on speaking to Arcee. "I know you're mad at me because you've seen me in combat. I...I know I've killed humans before...I must have. I worked very hard on my skills. I took...not pride really...but satisfaction maybe? Being a good flyer was all I had. I'm small... I'm easy pickings. If I'm fast and accurate maybe I'm useful enough to keep alive, and dangerous enough that...that someone weaker will get picked on instead." She hung her head and the black hair cascaded over her face.  
"I didn't realize how afraid I was ALL the time. All the time. Not until today...when the ice cream came, and I thought 'this is good,' and then they came and the fear came back. I was so scared, and so angry that they made me scared again... and all those people were scared like me. For NO reason! I was furious and I realized this was why humans fight... and why they live like they do. Making silly gardens and swimming pools and video games and ice cream. Because life isn't always full of fear for them. Sometimes it is peaceful, and fun, and sweet... and it is worth fighting for to keep it that way."

She took another huge shuddering breath, "SOME of the Decepticons get real pleasure hurting people, but most of us just don't even know what we are destroying, or that there is anything real to destroy...."

She sagged in her seat and buried her face in her hands. Hot Rod patted her awkwardly on the back. The look he threw Arcee wasn't accusing - quite.

Magnus sighed tiredly. "Arcee...I know you are just thinking of the people we helped today, but Foul Play helped too, and futile as it was she tried to stop them. It would be great if we all knew we had choices, but Foul Play didn't have the advantages you did. She knows now, and don't we owe her a chance? Look at me. You know what I was like. You've heard the stories. If Kup hadn't given me a chance, where would I be right now? Believe me, there were plenty of Bots who thought he was wasting every minute in that cell with me."

Rodimus arched an eyebrow, "You'll have to tell me about that later," he said softly. Magnus nodded. Rodimus looked at Arcee seriously, "I've got a question for you, and I want you to think about it. Why do you still accept me here? I can probably guarantee I've killed more humans than all of the Decepticons in this dimension combined....and one of them was Danny. Why do I get a pass on that? Because I wear an Autobot brand now and then? Because you're friends with my twin? Because I have "Prime" tacked on the end of my name? Because I mean well? Does that really matter? Just because I can't think of a better way doesn't mean there isn't one. Well?"

Arcee looked at Magnus for permission.

"Answer him," Magnus said.

She nodded, but there was a long pause before she answered, "I don't know why I forgive you. I guess because I don't think what happens there is really your fault. You didn't know it was happening and now that you know what's wrong you are doing your best to fix it."

"OK...so I get a pass for stupidity?"

'I didn't mean it like that...you had no way of knowing," Arcee explained. It sounded thin even to her.

"What if Foul Play had no way of knowing, Arcee? Megatron does not encourage independent thinking! He controls their education and their information. Ignorance is the most fundamental chain of slavery and it is a difficult chain to break. Did I ever tell you that Blitzwing is an Autobot now in our dimension?"

Arcee shook her head vigorously.

"Well, he is. He is my self-appointed assistant," Rodi said. He looked thoughtful a minute and then chuckled. "Honestly I wonder some times how I managed before he appointed himself, but it wasn't always that way. Galvatron...that's Megatron with an upgrade by the way, gave him to the Quintissons and they...did things to him. We found him when we were exterminating them, and I...well, let's just say I had enough experience to bring him back to reality." Rodimus sighed, and looked sad. "He was broken...really broken...and he sort of...fixated? On me. I think I was the first person in his life he ever trusted and he was like a whipped dog given his first pat. If I had told him to jump into a quasar, he'd have done it. I didn't really handle him all that well at first and he got into trouble taking things I said too literally. In a way, he was like a child. I had to teach him to think for himself."

"Blitzwing can think?" Marissa asked.

"Yeah, actually. It's amazing what a little practice can do for you. He works with Chromia now, showing our newly activated the ropes," Rodimus said.

"You've got that ex-Decepticon working with my mother?!" Springer asked incredulously. He was surprised, but he watched in satisfaction when the assassins hit the floor. He savored the moment, knowing he was unlikely to ever floor them in any other way. They laughed themselves purple, and Carly declared dinner-time.

Dinner was cold sandwiches eaten in near silence, with little apparent appetite. Rodi didn't pick at his food for a change, but much of the rest of the table did. Arcee threw incredulous looks at various people from time to time, but no one wanted to rise to the bait. Foul Play ate a few quick bites and fled the table.

At least she runs more quietly, Rodimus sent to Lancer.

She'll be fine, Lancer sent back. Hot Rod shoved the rest of his sandwich into his mouth and took off after Foul Play. See? Lancer sent.

"I hate it when you two talk to each other that way," Marissa grumbled.

X

X

X

"Paper plates are my friends," Carly announced, flopping down on the couch.

"Especially when half the table takes off to sulk and doesn't help with their plates," Marissa said with a sigh.

"Well, I guess I should be grateful they usually help these days. It wasn't long ago that I wouldn't let them touch the dishes," Carly said tiredly. Raising her voice towards the office, she called, "My husband usually helps though! I wonder what happened to his chivalrous ways tonight!"

"I'm looking up touch-up paint for the car on my state-of-the-art clunky computer!" Spike called back.

"Ooo, testy," Marissa said to Carly, not quietly at all.

The women were too tired to laugh, but they did manage to snicker a bit.

"What a day this was," Marissa mused. "I've seen Spike through plenty of major skirmishes....this wasn't even a real fight...but having that car scratched really rattled his cage."

"Well, thank goodness Lancer and Rodimus ended it so quickly or we might have really been in trouble," Carly remarked.

"True," Marissa agreed, "But if not for Rodimus we wouldn't have been anywhere near it."

"Oh my God, his scouting expedition from hell! Still, it was better for the people of that neighborhood that we were there. It came as a real shock to our gang. I...I don't know Marissa... maybe it was good for them to see that," Carly said, looking guilty.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Not that we wish that attack on those people but..." Marissa shook her head tiredly. "I heard Rodimus say something to Magnus about the response time. Twelve minutes...really, twelve minutes isn't all that bad, but I could see Rodimus pricked Magnus' pride there. In the long run, if we can get these guys back to normal it will save lives."

Carly nodded, looked grave, and then suddenly snickered again. Her eyes widened as the sound escaped unbidden. Her hand flew to her mouth and all of a sudden she was quaking with stifled laughter.

Marissa couldn't decide whether to join her or slap her. Carly was turning red with muffled merriment.

"What?" Marissa asked. "What is it?"

Carly gasped, tried to answer, failed, and gasped again. She shuddered with the effort to speak. Marissa stared at her in disbelief, unable to see what had prompted this outbreak of mirth.

Finally Carly wheezed "Response time!"

"What?!" Marissa demanded.

"No...no Autobot...from this... dimension...out-did Foul Play's response time!"

Marissa stared at her friend for one long second and then she was laughing too. She and Carly suffered long bouts of slap-happy, over-tired, over-wrought hysterics.

"Oh my God....she ran! She ran so fast even Hot Rod couldn't catch her!" Marissa said when she could breath.

"All I saw was that hair disappearing down the street," Carly exclaimed.

"OH! You should have seen it! She threw rocks at them! Rocks! She hit Brawl too! Twice!" Marissa told her.

They both fell over, holding their stomachs. It was a while before either spoke again.

"Ow...oh! My tummy hasn't hurt so much since Danny was born!" Carly decreed. "I'm amazed Brawl didn't kill her."

"It was close. One of the invisible assassins threw a manhole cover right into Brawl's face and Hot Rod pushed her out of the way when that building came down. It was pretty brave of him actually. If Rodi hadn't blocked that building it would have probably killed them both, but Hot Rod tried to protect her with his body."

"Aww...The little hero tries to rescue the damsel," Carly said. "It's just like a romance novel."

"Heheh...Did you see his face when Arcee was making her comments tonight? That makes twice in one day he's been out to protect her," Marissa snickered.

Carly snickered.

The snickers tapered off and both women sat very still.

Marissa's fore-finger began tapping ever so lightly on the armrest.

"That's not funny," she said to herself.

Carly looked at her.

Marissa looked at Carly.

"Please tell me you aren't thinking what I'm thinking," Carly begged.

"Oh...I could, but I'd be lying," Marissa squeaked.

"Maybe...maybe we're wrong," Carly said hopefully.

"Maybe...but we aren't," Marissa said with finality.

"What did we do in our past lives to deserve this?" Carly wondered.

"I dunno, but it must have been pretty bad," Marissa groaned. "So do you think he's just got a crush or do you think they are actually doing it?"

"Well, gee Marissa, I'm not sure, but they certainly have a lot of fine role-models for debauchery around here!" Carly said indignantly.

"Don't go there with me Mrs. Witwicky! You and Spike aren't exactly quiet you know!"

"Wha..?! OH! Why didn't you tell me sooner!"

"Tell you what sooner?" Spike asked, coming out of the office. "I got the paint! Only $19.95 plus shipping and handling!"

The women looked at each other, and even with no mental link both knew now wasn't the time to inform Spike of a new, brewing disaster.

"That it's 11:30!" Marissa cried. "Oh so time to go to bed!"


	2. Chapter 2

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?

Part B

Continued from Part A

The next morning when Marissa came down, Lancer and Rodi were already up as usual. The EDC Captain sat down and accepted the mug of coffee Lancer had ready for her. She scrutinized the pair suspiciously.

"Uh-oh," Rodimus said. "What'd we do now?"

Marissa pursed her lips at him, and he obligingly pursed his back in flawless imitation. Lancer sighed and shook her head at him.

"Whatever it is you aren't helping," she said with fond exasperation. "What's wrong Marissa?"

"I was just wondering if the two of you have been withholding information," Marissa said.

"Oh, you should know that by now," Lancer said with a grin.

"Yes, but I'm referring to happenings in this dimension," Marissa clarified.

"Ah...the plot thickens," Rodimus said, dropping his voice two octaves and arching his eyebrows dramatically.

"I was wondering about your twin," Marissa said, refusing to respond to Rodi's silliness.

"Oh...the plot becomes thin and runny," Rodimus said. Lancer smacked him on the arm.

Marissa rolled her eyes. "No really....do you think he's become...Do you think he's got a thing for Foul Play?" The two faces in front of her suddenly became a pair of blank stares. That was probably all the answer she needed but she pressed on anyway. "Do you?" she prodded.

"We...aren't at liberty to say," Lancer said carefully. Her eyes were sparkling. Rodimus was clearly holding back laughter.

"I was afraid of that...how long have you known?" Marissa sighed.

"Oh...we've been under a vow of silence for a few weeks now," Lancer informed her. There was a suspicious quaver in her voice.

Marissa stared at her. "Fine, play it that way. Is it just a crush or is it more serious? Rodimus this is NOT funny!"

"Right! So sorry! Very serious!" Rodimus said. This time his voice was about two octaves higher than normal.

"You are incorrigible! Well? How bad is it?" Marissa demanded of Lancer. Rodimus was obviously not planning on being helpful.

"I think a vow of silence is about as serious as it can get, don't you?" Lancer asked. Her voice really wasn't any better than Rodi's.

"Oh my God! They're doing it?" Marissa cried, louder than she'd planned.

"I never said anything of the kind," Lancer said primly, nodding vigorously. Rodimus lost all semblance of control. He hid his head in his arms and shook the table with silent laughter.

"Do you two realize the trouble this will cause! How could you let them go through with it! Magnus is going to flip! Prime will have kittens!"

"Rodimus be quiet, the table is creaking! Marissa, we wouldn't have stopped them even if we could, but just for the record, by the time we found out it was well and truly too late," Lancer whispered vehemently.

Marissa groaned. Rodimus lifted his head, looked at her with eyes streaming, wagged his finger at her, and then collapsed back onto the table.

"Aren't you bothered by this," Marissa asked Lancer. "Shouldn't he... be with...er...you?"

"Bullshit. At least she's Cybertronian," Lancer snarled.

"She's just his type," came Rodi's muffled voice from inside his arms.

"Speak up Mucus!" Lancer said.

"You can't be serious!" Marissa cried.

"Sure I am. She's smart, she's got more courage than she knows what to do with, she sees right through him, and most importantly, she's dangerous enough to keep him both entertained and in line."

"You find danger entertaining then?" Marissa accused.

"I find boredom intolerable. Make note, the love of MY life occasionally removes my limbs...not that I ever deserve it."

"You deserve it," Lancer growled.

"Hmm...you're so sexy when you snarl at me Lady Assassin."

"OK you two, quit flirting. I can't believe you are so calm about this," Marissa complained.

"Well, maybe our definition of 'crisis' is a bit more extreme than yours," Rodimus said. He rested his chin on one hand, exhausted from laughing. "Look, even if they don't work out, I don't see this as being bad for either of them."

"You don't mind your twin getting his heart broken, eh?"

"He'll live. And it might teach him to look a bit before he leaps," Rodimus said sagely.

"Do you?" Marissa asked sarcastically.

"Actually, yes...and then I jump anyway, but that's my job as Prime is it not? At least I go in with an idea of what I'm getting into. Look, if it makes you feel better, I can at least convince him to tell the Major General before Magnus figures it out on his own. That'll be a nice trial by fire for this little affair, and might just earn the kid enough points for courage to help him survive the aftermath. If Magnus doesn't kill Hot Rod then he will at least have that to point out to his parents, and Magnus might even stand by him. By the way, I wouldn't worry about Optimus so much...Elita is the one they've got to convince. Optimus may run the Autobots, but Elita is implacable whether she's with or against you, at least in our dimension anyway."

Marissa scrutinized him. "You are right. You are right about Hot Rod telling Magnus up front too. It might...deflect some outrage."

"I'll talk to him after practice," Rodi promised, and he kept his promise too.

After practice, he pulled his twin and Foul Play aside. All he said to Hot Rod was, "Marissa's on to you two, Ingrate."

"Hey! Did you let it slip?" Hot Rod accused. Foul Play paled.

"No...your little acts of heroism let it slip Hot Rod, and Marissa's not exactly stupid. I think Carly's on to you too...which means sooner or later Spike will know, and more importantly Uncle Ultra will know too."

Hot Rod said nothing. Foul Play's pupils contacted to pin points.

"That shade of green you're turning clashes with your hair. I hope I never look like that," Rodimus observed. "Breath Foul Play."

"I'm dead," Hot Rod noted.

"There are worse things," Rodimus sighed. "If I were you, and I nearly am, I would 'fess up before Magnus puts it together himself. It will make him take everything you say more seriously."

"I'm dead," Hot Rod noted.

Rodimus cocked his head at his twin, "Maybe you're too young and too chicken for a serious relationship."

"Hey!" Hot Rod cried. "I really like her you know!"

"You liked her enough to die for her yesterday, but today you're a coward telling Magnus?"

"He's scarier than Decepticons!" Hot Rod averred.

"Heh...I'll grant you that, but really...if you will face your enemies for her...won't you face your friends...I mean your family?"

Hot Rod shuddered, hung his head, and finally nodded. Foul Play still said nothing, but she rested her head on his arm and sobbed, just once.

"Good," Rodi said. "Do it ASAP."

"I'll tell him right now," Hot Rod said, sounding resigned. Then he glared at Rodimus. "I hate it when you manipulate me like that. You know just what to tell me to get me to do what you want."

Rodimus laughed, "And just what do you think being a leader is all about? Besides...how do you think I get MYSELF through the day?"

"Ah. So you're even an asshole to yourself. I'll just keep that in mind," Hot Rod said. "If he kills me, I won't ever have to put up with that." Then he squared his shoulders and went off to find his uncle.

"It'll be OK, Foul Play," Rodimus said.

"You're crazy," she whispered.

"Come on. Lancer's made you some chocolate milk. We'll wait in the kitchen," Rodimus said, and he steered her into the house.

X

X

X

Ultra Magnus knew something was on Marissa's mind all morning. She kept opening her mouth as if to tell him something and then not. He caught her shaking her head to herself a few times too. Once or twice he saw her exchange long looks with Carly. Attempts to pry always got an adroit change of subject, along with an averted gaze.

Ah...guilt.

Fortunately he trusted that she had reason not to tell him what was on her mind, and wondered how long the mystery would last.

During practice he forgot about it. Rodimus and Lancer might be unpredictable and annoying, but they were merciless and outstanding teachers. He appreciated how they tailored their teachings to each of the students. Hot Rod, Foul Play, and Arcee were learning tactics that relied on their balance, flexibility and speed, while increasing their strength and using it more efficiently. Springer had no need for strength training, but he was learning to use his power with extreme precision. Lancer challenged his balance at every turn, and while Magnus doubted the triple changer would ever twist himself in knots like Rodimus and Hot Rod did, Springer was finally able to do the splits.

As for Magnus, they didn't try to override his gladiator training. Instead they tested and expanded upon it. Often, Lancer would work with the others, and Rodimus would work with him. These sessions were sick fun for both of them. They danced around each other, attacking, parrying, and cheerfully exchanging notes while they did so.

Rodimus was faster, but not much.

Magnus was stronger, but not much.

They exchanged "moves" like some house-wives exchanged recipes, and each would comment when the other made use of something the other had taught.

Spike used up a lot of video tape, and Magnus nurtured little dreams of the surprises he had in store for Megatron and company when they got back to robot form. These thoughts made him happy, and even Marissa's little secret wasn't enough to dampen his mood coming out of the shower and toweling off his hair.

Marissa had just finished getting dressed, and Magnus was pulling on his shorts when there was a knock on their bedroom door. Marissa glanced at him to see if he was decent, and then answered it.

From the knock, Magnus was expecting Rodi, but it was his nephew, looking nervous but...resolved.

Marissa took a big sigh, and smiled, motioning for Hot Rod to come in.

Magnus arched one eyebrow. Why, she wasn't even asking what the boy wanted. This boded ill.

"I'll see you boys downstairs," she said. Wide smile, quick retreat.

Magnus's other eyebrow joined the first at his hairline. Perhaps he should have paid more attention to things which made Marissa nervous, since now the nervousness seemed to be transferring to him.

"Er...you can stay," Hot Rod called, but her feet could be heard scampering down the stairs. He looked at his uncle.

Magnus looked back.

Hot Rod seemed to be sizing him up.

Magnus looked back.

Hot Rod sighed.

"OUT WITH IT ALREADY!" Magnus ordered. That tone usually got at least a startled jump out of its target, but Hot Rod just looked at him as if still evaluating him.

This caused Magnus enough pause to take another look at his nephew. Hot Rod had filled out and grown at least an inch when Magnus wasn't looking, but what surprised Magnus was the change in demeanor. No fidgeting, no wavering eye-contact. He was tense, as though expecting a fight, but he wasn't wavering.

Magnus narrowed his eyes.

"Hot Rod...what's going on?" Magnus asked seriously.

"I have to tell you something...because you should know. I'm...I'm not asking permission, and I'm not apologizing either."

Things started clicking together in Magnus' mind and he had a fairly good notion of what was coming before Hot Rod even finished speaking.

"Foul Play and I have...well...we've been...together for over a month now. I just...I just thought you should know, especially because of what's going on with Arcee. It's my life, but it's your unit, and I don't want to cause trouble for my commanding officer, but I won't let Arcee just lay into Foul Play either."

Magnus stared at his nephew. The wave of thoughts and emotions that overtook him were not surprising under the circumstances, but their content was not at all what Magnus would have predicted if he had been asked in advance.

He was surprised, but not all that surprised. In retrospect, he had seen the signs for far more than a month. An Autobot with a Decepticon? Shouldn't there be outrage? But it wasn't an Autobot with a Decepticon...it was Hot Rod, the individual, with Foul Play - the girl who threw rocks. Besides, was it any different then say a City Commander with an EDC Captain? Or a Prime from another dimension with a mutant? Not really. What was surprising to him was the BALLS of this kid coming in and just laying it out like that.

He looked back into Hot Rod's unflinching gaze. The kid was growing up. Magnus thought about Rodimus and had mixed emotions about that.

There was going to be fall-out from this if it continued, but maybe, just maybe, Prime's son was ready to take it.

Hot Rod was a bit worried about Magnus long silence, but he refused to show it. He simply stood at attention and waited. He waited quite a while.

Finally, Magnus got done processing everything.

"I expect...I insist...that you remain professional and respectful with Arcee, Hot Rod...if she doesn't do the same that's on her head."

"I know, Sir," Hot Rod said. He wobbled a bit in relief, but recovered his attention quickly. Magnus wasn't screaming, and wasn't swinging. This was going much better than expected.

"There is going to be a LOT of flack from this," Magnus warned him.

"I know, Sir. I...I don't care, Sir," Hot Rod said.

"It won't be easy," Magnus cautioned him.

"I don't need to look around much to see life's not easy Sir," Hot Rod said. "I'm not saying I think this will be a smooth ride, I just think...I think she's worth it."

"Does she think it's worth it?" Magnus asked seriously.

"I...I think she's scared to death. I don't think she knows what to think," Hot Rod said honestly.

"Hmm....I think you are right about that. What if she doesn't stay?"

"I don't know, but I hope she does," Hot Rod whispered.

"For the record, so do I," Magnus said. "I don't like thinking of her back there, and I certainly don't like thinking about facing her on a battlefield."

Hot Rod winced, but he didn't argue.

"Thank you for telling me what's going on Hot Rod. I will do the best I can for both of you, but YOU are breaking this to your parents!" Magnus said firmly.

Hot Rod dropped his military protocols and grinned. "That's OK, Uncle Mags, but do you think I can wait until tomorrow? I don't think I can face Mom right now, and I know Foul Play isn't up to that."

"Does she know you're telling me now?" Magnus wanted to know.

"Yessir."

"Well, then you'd better go tell her how it went. She's probably sure I've destroyed you by now!" Magnus said.

Hot Rod grimaced, and took off down the stairs. Magnus shook his head - the boy's feet were nearly silent.

.

Down in the kitchen, Foul Play held a glass of untouched chocolate milk in one hand, and Lancer's strong fingers in the other.

"If you must squeeze so hard, could you please squeeze the glass?" Lancer suggested. Her fingertips were turning quite purple.

"Sorry," Foul Play said distractedly. Her grip on Lancer's hand didn't change a whit.

Lancer smiled and threw Marissa and Carly a long-suffering glance. Then she wrenched her hand away. Foul Play didn't notice.

"Magnus is going to kill him," the Decepticon whispered. "I'm never going to see him again."

"Nah," Rodi said casually. "Hot Rod's gotten a lot faster than either of them realizes. He's almost as fast as me now. Mags might catch him, but not before we heard them at it and intervened. It's all good, trust me." He leaned on the counter behind Lancer and smiled cheerfully at Foul Play.

"You are insane," she informed him.

"You might not hear me," Hot Rod quipped. He was all smiles.

Marissa yelped in surprise.

Rodimus grinned back at his twin. "Heh. Nice try Ingrate, but we knew you were coming. You're getting better though. Well... Your uncle is still lurking upstairs but I don't see any black eyes. Did you chicken out after all?"

"No...he's surprised, but the worst he said was I have to tell my parents and deal with the fall-out."

"Well, that's only fair," Lancer said. She took Foul Play's hand (from the top) and gave the mystified girl a supportive squeeze.

"Why...? Why does everything I expect to happen never come true?" Foul Play wondered. "Is..is he mad at me?"

"No...I'm not," Magnus said.

Marissa yelped in surprise.

"Oh...that's not good," Hot Rod said.

Lancer and Rodimus snickered.

Foul Play stared at Magnus as though he were some kind of apparition. "You...you really aren't going to kill us for this? Or punish us?"

"Foul Play...this is never going to be easy. You will have to win over a lot of skeptical people, but at the heart of it, neither you or Hot Rod has done anything wrong."

"But...he's PRIME'S son," Foul Play insisted.

"I still have a right to choose my own mate," Hot Rod said. "Besides, supposedly we are working towards peace with the Decepticons. That's the theory anyway. Foul Play, I know that this will probably always be hard, but I don't want you to be afraid all of the time." He came over and took Foul Play's other hand, and Lancer adroitly removed her own. Somehow, the assassin seemed to become almost invisible in her seat. Hot Rod stared into Foul Play's eyes. "Even if you decide not to stay...I don't want you to be afraid."

Lancer turned to look at Marissa and Carly with mischief in her eyes. "Aww..." she mouthed at them.

Foul Play surged up out of her chair and hugged Hot Rod with all she had.

Marissa looked sort of stunned and Carly got positively misty eyed.

No one spoke, but someone did snicker. Hot Rod and Foul Play might as well have been alone in the world for all the attention they paid that sound, but every other head in the room oriented on Rodi like Spike's sprinklers targeted squirrels.

The elder twin had his hand over his mouth and turned colors trying not to laugh. Lancers eyes flared, but he only shuddered harder in looking at her.

"Rodimus! Be good! What's the matter with you?"

"Sorry! I can't help it...brings back old memories of a similar moment. You. Me. A room full of witnesses. Of course, this time we were here to protect the love-birds and then they were there to protect the love birds from each other!"

"OH! You! Be quiet!" Lancer snapped. "Not the same thing at all!"

"Yes it is, but see how she falls into his arms all romantic like? In our case you grabbed me by the throat and said 'What the fuck have you done to yourself?'" Rodimus growled the last part in poor imitation of Lancer's demonic voice.

"Killing you would have saved lots of trouble, My Love," Lancer growled.

Hot Rod and Foul Play broke apart from each other and the room laughed. It was good that they did, because Arcee and Springer came down from their shower and Carly jumped up to start making lunch.

You couldn't have found a better way to change the mood Rodi? Lancer sent in annoyance.

Sure, but this was more fun, he returned.

X

X

X

During lunch Rodimus shared the next stage of his plans with them...sort of.

"OK...we need to hit that night club on Saturday. That gives us two days to get everyone who is brave enough to volunteer time to find a costume and practice their role," Rodimus said over tuna salad sandwiches.

"What if we don't want to volunteer?" Springer asked.

"No problem. We'll be fine without you," Rodimus said lightly. "You can stay here and play video games or something exciting like that."

Springer and Magnus looked at each other, well aware they were being played and not liking it.

"What...what will we be doing if we go?" Magnus said suspiciously.

"Well," Rodi said, "You don't strike me as much of an actor, so you will be playing yourself. Springer, you will being playing Magnus."

"Huh?" Springer said brightly.

"What..." Magnus said at the same moment.

"Well," Rodimus said, "I am going to be playing a stupid guy who just inherited a ton of money, and a very swelled head. An asshole, in other words. A stretch I know. In an effort to seem like a big shot, he is going to rent a huge limo, an entourage, and a couple of huge, sullen body-guards. That would be you two. Therefore, Magnus will be himself, and Springer will do his best to act just like him."

Magnus and Springer looked at each other again.

"What if we want you to get hurt?" Springer asked with a mean grin.

"Well, then you'd just look incompetent. You aren't being paid to like me, but you are getting paid to do a job. I understand if you think you aren't up to it. I don't really NEED your help." Rodimus explained. He grinned. There wasn't the slightest chance they were backing out now and they knew it as well as he did.

"You are a twisted, manipulative bastard," Magnus observed.

"So you're coming then," Rodimus stated.

Magnus glowered.

Rodimus smirked at him. To Marissa he said, "Captain, I think you would make a good manager. You are the one who manages the money and tries to keep me from causing too much damage." Then he turned to Hot Rod, "Hot Rod if you go, you will play my kid brother, mostly because I can't find another explanation for your devastating good looks. Foul Play will be your date, and Arcee will be my date."

"WHAT?!" Arcee and Springer shouted in unison.

"Well, the alternative is Lancer and I go in alone and wire the place, but I'd rather have a diversion. It cuts way down on the risk for violence. This little dance party is the diversion so that Lancer can bug the phones, set up cameras, and hack the computers. Obviously she can't do that and dance with me too, more's the pity, so if Arcee doesn't mind..."

"Of course she minds!" Springer insisted.

"What does being your date entail?" Arcee asked.

"Nothing much...a dance or two. I promise to dump you after about ten minutes," Rodimus said.

'What do you mean you're going to DUMP Arcee?" Springer cried, sounding even more offended.

"I thought you didn't want me to be her date in the first place," Rodimus said, grinning. Then he put a photo print on the table, "I will dump her in favor of this bitch. And I do mean bitch. This lady has quite a rap sheet."

They all looked at the photo. It showed a woman in her mid-thirties, blonde, blue-eyed, and botoxed.

"Who...who is she?" Carly asked.

"She is both the gate-keeper at the club, and the owner's so called girl-friend, although from our research he has a different 'friend' about every night. Her name is legally Angela Dubois, but really she's Marge Jones of Cincinnati. Here's her rap sheet. Dealing, hooking, petty theft. Looks like she's trying to break into management. She's smart. She's suspected in at least one murder but they couldn't get enough evidence on her to prosecute," Lancer said, throwing down more prints. This time the picture was a mug shot, followed by a list of crimes and charges.

Continued In Part C!


	3. Chapter 3

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?  
Part C

Continued from Part B

"Where did you get this?" Spike asked. "This is really her rap sheet!"

"From the Miami-Dade PD's data base," Rodimus said.

"But...this is the complete list...not just the public records of her convictions," Spike protested.

Rodimus blinked at him, "Well, we hacked their system. Here's the stuff EDC has on her too."

"EDC!" Marissa cried, "You hacked into EDC?!"

"You are going to get me arrested!" Spike roared. "Stay OFF of my computer!"

"I thought you wanted us all out of your house!" Rodimus protested. "Besides, you said yourself, the stuff we use is more than a decade advanced of this time and we use Jabez algorithms to boot. They will never know we were there, and couldn't trace it here even if they did."

"Relax Spike," Lancer said, "He honestly does know what he's doing here. Besides, that vein on the side of your head is gonna burst if you don't settle down."

"Moving right along," Rodimus said as if nothing had happened, "Here is the big smelly cheese. Romeo Ramirez. That, sadly, really is his name. Probably led to his life of crime. Convicted of nearly nothing. Accused of date rape over a dozen times, no convictions. All of the accusers recanted their testimony in spite of some lovely photos of their bruises in his records. Charges of witness tampering didn't stick. Dealing, racketeering, human smuggling, pimping, murder, yadda yadda....this guy would make a great slaver. Is driven in a supped limo, and drinks his tequilas with lemon, no salt."

"When did you two dig this stuff up?" Marissa wanted to know.

"Last night after you all went to bed," Lancer said.

"How did you get there?" Marissa asked.

"I drove," Rodimus explained. "Oh don't worry, my cloaking device does illusions. Give me a break. Map of the area, a few good rendevous points in the event things go well and we get separated. Here's a blueprint of the club. Here's where the cameras are, and here's where they've made modifications to the building. Looks like they've moved the bar forward from the blueprints about 15 feet so they probably have a hidden room behind the bar. I'm betting on seeing it when we visit. The club is a converted warehouse so Lancer will have lots of rafters to skulk in. They keep the lights down and use fog occasionally so that's nice of them too. Angela stays by the door and minds the bouncers. She's the real last word in who gets in, but she's acting resentful and bored so I think I can get her to make trouble for her Romeo and let us in."

"How do you plan to do that exactly?" Magnus said. He was both impressed and intrigued, and vowing not to show any of it.

"Well, here's where things get...erm...awkward," Rodimus said.

"Awkward isn't a word I'd use...." Springer said.

Lancer frowned. "You remember what we told you about the Jabez modifying Rodimus for their own ends?"

There was general nodding.

"Well, one of the modifications was to his pheromone output. She will let him in, believe me."

"I think you are over-estimating your charms a bit. With a record like that Ms. Angela is unlikely to be fooled by a pretty face, Rodimus, even one as pretty as yours," Marissa said with a chuckle.

"Actually, as far as we can tell it wouldn't matter if he was Quasimodo, Marissa. Not that the looks don't help, but he will get her motor running to an EXTREME degree, not doubt," Lancer promised. "She will let him in, and she will try to get him to sleep with her. That's not the awkward part. The awkward part is that he will also get everyone else's motor running too...the scent is not exactly directionally targeted. Arcee...if you consent to being his date...even for just a few minutes, you especially need to be braced for impact. All of you do really."

Despite being braced for impact, Lancer and Rodi both winced when the females at the table began laughing. Not knowing where else to look, the assassin pair looked at each other until the others realized they weren't joining in and weren't joking.

The laughter trailed off.

Then the general indignation started, with everyone at the table insisting it would take more than any charms Rodi-the-Annoying possessed to incite an amorous response from any of them. The males protested along with their mates.

Lancer and Rodi looked at each other until the clamor died off.

"Are you done?" Lancer wanted to know. "Do any of you seriously think we are questioning your commitment to each other? If we were, believe me, this option wouldn't even be on the table. The point is, this modification was made by the beings who designed the human race in our world. Pure brain chemistry! Ladies, not only will you respond you will ovulate, and let out your own jacked-up pheromones which will incite the males in this joint as well...ALL of them...and you will be in such a state you will be willing for almost any of them."

"Lancer surely you're exaggerating!" Carly cried.

Lancer shook her head, and looked distressed.

"I just think Hot Rodimus over there has a big head...and I mean the one on his shoulders!" Springer snorted.

Rodimus' fist hit the table, which boomed as loud as Magnus' hardest pounding.

"This isn't funny to me, Springer. I gained this lovely ability in a torture chamber. It sickens me. If it saves us some time and violence, I'll use it. I'll use any advantage they gave me to bring them down...but I don't ever forget that I was meant to use that to father children for the Jabez to Convert. I would have scanned and bred with any woman whose DNA would have produced mutant offspring. Married? So? Engaged, in love, gay, too young, too old, just plain not interested...? So? Turns out it is in fact possible to rape the willing if you fucking smell right. Astrotrain fathered over 70 kids that we know of! It wasn't based on his sparkling personality either! 23 of these women lost their families due to this 'affair'...most can't tell you why they did it. Most of the rest pulled their marriages back together but I bet more will divorce later. Some don't even remember consenting... they just looked up to find him taking care of business knocking them up. If you press them, and Marissa it was your alternate's job to press them, they will admit to being overwhelmingly aroused. Some of them divorced their husbands rather than 'stick with an inadequate partner.' They are like addicts looking for a fix."

"Rodi sit down," Lancer said. "It's not your fault."

"Those kids...we've lost three to slavers already," Rodimus went on. "The majority are in foster care and group homes. They are mutants and most can't hide it. They are targets of slavers, of bigots, of other kids. People are scared of them and abuse them. Their father was dead before he seeded them...and Lancer blew his head off to make it official. Their mothers gave them up out of guilt, or fear, or inadequate means, or simply couldn't handle kids with mutant powers. I can support them anonymously. I can make sure they have care-givers, and food, and school. But I can't be a father to all of them, especially when I hardly see my own children. It nauseates me every time I think about it and it has not a damned thing to do with my fucking ego!"

"We are trying to warn you and ask you if you can handle it. We don't really need a diversion. I can probably break into that place blind-folded... but a diversion will make it less likely that anyone will notice a break-in has even occurred. It's just an added safety net. We don't want to spook these people or we may never find out what we want to know."

"OK, OK" Marissa said, "Don't get all upset. Rodi I'm sure they did something to you, and I'm sure it wasn't pretty, but we've been around you all this time...we're not going to be that disturbed by you!"

"Marissa, I've been his mate for nearly a decade now and believe me, time and the contempt of familiarity are no defense," Lancer said with an embarrassed smile.

Rodimus did look just a bit smug over this admission. He also looked at the clock.

Lancer cocked an eyebrow at him. "You aren't thinking of demonstrating now are you?"

"I was...going on a mission, even a silly one like this with a skeptical team isn't bright," Rodimus said. "I'm just trying to decide if we have time. Or if this group is up to it. Maybe we should just go alone tonight."

"Oh please," Marissa said, "Don't do us any favors. I say do your worst Rodimus Prime."

"Even if it ups your chances for getting pregnant, Marissa? What about you Carly? Ready to give Danny a sibling already?"

"I'm still nursing. That's really unlikely," Carly said.

"Humor me and ask yourself honestly, because you will ovulate," Rodimus averred.

She and Spike looked at each other. Spike shrugged.

"We want more kids," Carly said with a grin. Her eyes danced merrily, and it was clear she found more humor than substance in Rodi's questions.

He sighed and shook his head. Closing his eyes for a heartbeat and thinking of what would shortly occur with his mate was all it took.

Unaware anything had happened, the conversation continued around him.

"It's a shame really," Marissa was saying. "If you could bottle something like that you'd make a killing."

"Probably literally," Lancer said. "One of Astrotrain's co-workers committed suicide when she heard he was dead. I'm sure murder wouldn't be too much of a stretch."

"You're serious?" Arcee said. "Over Astrotrain? That would have been ridiculous even if he hadn't been Converted!"

"Maybe Conversion improved his personality," Foul Play observed dryly. Astrotrain wasn't one of her favorites.

"Nothing to do with personality," Lancer assured them both, "Just pure brain chemistry."

"Mmm..." Marissa said, "That's have to be some smell for me to want to have sex with Astrotrain...or you either Rodimus, gorgeous as you are. I swear though you Autobots all have such disgustingly good bodies. It really is most unfair to mere human males. They have to work for years to get that kind of physique."

She stared at Magnus greedily.

"Mm-hmm," Rodi smiled. He rested his chin on his hand and gave Lancer a wink. She managed to keep a straight face. She didn't need her own responses to know things were in motion. Carly's eyes had a glassy, inward look to them. Arcee was toying with her collar. Foul Play was sitting straight as a ramrod, and Marissa was flushed and pacing.

There was a long, long lull in the conversation.

"So are you going to do anything or not Rodi?" Spike wanted to know. He sounded...impatient.

Glancing at his crotch told Lancer the counter-pheromones from the girls were beginning to circulate.

Rodimus shrugged and smiled.

Carly stared at her husband with wide, burning eyes. She wasn't looking at his face.

Marissa gasped and clutched the back of a chair. "Oh My God," she whispered huskily, hanging her head between her arms.

"Something up Marissa?" Rodi asked, chin still in hand.

Her head snapped up and she glared at him with hormone fueled outrage, "You!" she growled.

He smiled.

Magnus looked from Rodi to Marissa in confusion...and then to himself in equal confusion. One look at Marissa's flushed face and he developed an erection that was painful in intensity. He blinked in dazed amazement. Springer and Arcee were already gone. He could hear their feet on the stairs...seconds later he heard a frantic and repetitive pounding from their bedframe against the wall. This did nothing to decrease the problem in his pants.

"You!" Marissa breathed again at Rodimus. "You are an incomparable trouble-maker!"

Lancer leaned on her trouble-maker and caressed his back, smiling at her steaming friends.

"Spike!" Carly whispered urgently.

"Honey?" he asked.

"Upstairs! Now!" Carly ordered.

Spike didn't need convincing. He grabbed her hand and they ran upstairs like a pair of kids.

"Magnus..." Marissa groaned. "You may have to carry me...I don't think I can walk. Rodimus....I am so going to get you back for this."

"Heh...not for a while you won't. It usually takes a few hours to wear off Marissa dear. Have fun!"

"You are insufferable!" she hissed

"You're welcome!" he answered smugly as Magnus scooped her up and ran (RAN!) her upstairs in his arms.

Hot Rod and Foul Play said nothing....they simply vanished.

"Alone at last," Rodimus said, pulling Lancer into his lap.

"Mmm," she said. "You know, we've already set the whole house off...we could use the bed upstairs for a change!"

Rodimus nodded and smiled, kissing her. Then he snickered as the sounds of more abused bedframes filtered down. "It's a good thing Danny sleeps through anything," he observed. "We'll use the bed, and then we'll shower to slow things down, but we need to be careful...I'm not sure the floor-boards can take much more!"

X

X

X

After about 3 hours of enjoying a mattress rather than a rooftop or garden hedge, Lancer and Rodimus came back downstairs, Danny in tow. They were careful to appear un-rumpled and unruffled in spite of the fact that Lancer still responded to the pheromones as strongly as ever, and elicited an equally strong counter-response from her mate.

They cleaned up the kitchen from lunch for Carly (seemed the least they could do), but when they heard the first reluctant stirring from upstairs they sat themselves exactly as they had been before everyone else ran out.

It was a "told-you-so" pose for all the doubters.

Spike came down first, checking on Danny.

"We got him," Lancer said.

Spike's worried frown became a relieved smile. "Thanks! Carly will be down as soon as she can overcome her astonishment. That was actually very fun!"

Rodimus smiled and sipped his orange juice. Dehydration would slow down his plans.

The others came down in ones and twos. Magnus smirked at Rodi but had no comment other than a pleased aura. Springer looked tired, happy, and bit awed. Hot Rod pulled Rodi aside and whispered worriedly that neither he nor Foul Play had noticed much difference. Rodimus chuckled and whispered back to his twin, "That's because you are fifteen, Ingrate. Us old folks need special help getting back to your level of testosterone!"

The girls were a bit less enthusiastic, although all of them confessed to having a great time.

"I'm nervous about this," Arcee confessed. "I never want there to be any question about where my affections lie."

"I know Arcee," Rodimus responded. "That's why we wanted you all to be warned in advance. Just keep in mind you would respond the same way to a test tube full of this stuff and that it isn't REALLY me turning you on. Do you see now why it scares me though? Left alone with me, in an enclosed space, any of you would have cracked. We think all of the Jabez who were using this technique on me and Shellshock were killed, but we don't know if they shared it with any of the others, or if they got it from someone else."

"Bumbleb...I mean Shellshock can do this too?" Spike asked. He couldn't help it, any mention of his friend's tortured twin caught his attention.  
Rodimus looked at Spike sadly. "He could have just about any woman he wants. He's alone, Spike. He does use it, but only to draw in female slavers so he can kill them. He's not...well."

"He's getting better love. Edana makes him smile sometimes."

"That's because that little charmer is an empath and when she's happy it's contagious," Rodimus said.

"Hmm...just like her Daddy when he's horny!" Marissa observed.

"You know, I think it is time to go shopping," Lancer said.

X

X

X

The gang was excited as a whole, although the Witwickies looked a bit nervous. In the first weeks after the Autobots were made human, Marissa and Carly had taken each of them to the mall one at a time for shoes and clothing. Even with the two of them chaperoning every step, the Autobots still drove them to distraction investigating things and asking (loudly) many relevant questions any two year old would have known the answers for. The fact that Carly had been reaching the waddling stage of her pregnancy didn't help matters.

Needless to say, the actual humans had reservations about taking the entire herd out at once.

On the drive to the mall, Rodimus made his own concerns quite plain.

"We are on a mission," he said firmly, with no trace of humor. "If you are in this, I am the commanding officer and you are under orders NOT to call attention to yourselves. If you don't see any humans YOUR AGE doing something then you don't do it! Imitating four year olds is not tolerable. When in doubt ASK QUIETLY! Hot Rod, I heard about your last foray. Running up and down the aisles with stuff you want is not acceptable. Do it and I'll kill you myself. You are getting what I tell you and that's it."

"Asshole," Hot Rod said.

"Wrong. Right now it is Asshole, Sir," Rodimus said. "If at any point, any of you disappear from my sight or Lancer's sight except in a fitting room we are coming after you the way we come after slavers. You will not see us, you will not hear us, but when we get there you will be sorry. This is a mission and the number one objective is to be so inconsequential in the minds of the clerks and the customers that they forget what we looked like five minutes after we leave. We are blending...as in fitting in, NOT stirring up!"

"You aren't gonna let us have any fun?" Hot Rod pouted. He had a hard time taking orders from himself...he didn't take himself that seriously.

"With the lives of my people and my kids on the line? Hmm...let me think..Hot Rod has fun...my kids get Converted...Hot Rod has fun... You're right! Do whatever the fuck you want. So sorry about my screwed up priorities!"

"You don't have to be sarcastic about it! I was only asking!" Hot Rod grumbled.

Rodi stared at him, and then glanced at Magnus who was smirking.

"What's your problem?" Rodimus asked testily.

"I was just thinking that I bet my twin would give his right arm to see you having trouble with yourself," Magnus grinned.

"I like you better without a sense of humor, do ya know that?" Rodimus snarled.

"Oh look! We're here!" Spike cried, relieved.

X

X

X

They split up into teams. Spike and Rodimus took the boys, Lancer and Marissa took the girls, and Carly took Daniel and Spike's credit card. She disappeared in a hurry.

To their credit, all the Transformers did their best to behave. Perhaps they craned their necks a bit too much. Perhaps they stared at various things too long, but they stayed together and kept their voices down when they wanted to know something.

Rodi took Magnus and Springer to a suit store which specialized in "Big and Tall". As he noted unnecessarily, they both qualified. He found them identical black suits that looked like Secret Service standard issue and glared Springer through the fitting process so that he would stand still for it. Magnus behaved...so much so that it made the tailor taking his measure a bit nervous. The man was used to his clients at least smiling or shifting their weight a bit. Magnus stood like he was made out of granite.

They paid extra to have the suits altered that day and went off to find Hot Rod something to wear. Rodimus hardly looked. He grabbed a black mock turtle-neck and a pair of stone-washed jeans off the rack.

"Try on," he said.

"But..." Hot Rod started.

Rodimus raised an eye-brow over one eye and glared with the other.

"Ew. I hope my face never does that," Hot Rod complained.

"Try On Now."

"But..."

"But...it fits the part...and Foul Play will think you look nice in it," Rodimus grated, "And Lancer is preparing special lessons for you if you don't go now."

"Going now!"

Rodi sighed and looked at Spike. "Guard his dressing room, will you? If I was him, I'd be plotting an escape into the wilderness. We are going to the shoe department. Meet us there. I need to find him some shoes before he bolts."

Spike gave him an ironic stare. "How's about a leash?" he suggested.

"If I thought it would help, I might consider it," Rodimus said, refusing to acknowledge the amusement on Spike's face. He wouldn't even look at Magnus or Springer, he just motioned for them to follow him. On their way to the shoes he handed them each a belt without a word and then sat them down to try on black business shoes. He found a few pairs of sneakers for his twin that matched Hot Rod's outfit.

The younger 'Bot was actually pretty pleased with the clothes once he had them on, but he refused to admit it and was offended that Spike had been left to guard him.

"I don't need a baby-sitter," he informed his twin.

Rodimus looked at him. Green eyes bored into blue. "You mean to tell me you WEREN'T planning on sneaking off?"

Hot Rod decided discretion was the better part of valor.

"You should have brought your camera Spike. I really want a copy of this for my twin," Magnus said.

"Rodi wouldn't let me," Spike told him.

Continued In Part D!


	4. Chapter 4

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?  
Part D

Continued from Part C

Marissa groaned in frustration. "I hope the guys are doing better than this!"

"They are, but that is because Rodi is telling them what they are getting and they don't have any say in the matter," Lancer informed her. "How's about this one Arcee?"

"Black? You can't be serious!" came the offended voice from behind the curtain.

"How come we aren't doing it that way?" Marissa wanted to know.

"Yeah!" Foul Play's voice came from behind a different curtain. "Can't you just pick one for me?"

Lancer elbowed Marissa and rolled her eyes Foul Play's direction.

"Ah," Marissa whispered. "Sorry. I should know better. I guess I'm still on cloud nine from this afternoon."

"Heh. Understandable." Lancer whispered back. "You have to pick one Foul Play. Which one do you like?"

"I don't know! Which one should I like?" came the nervous reply.

"No one's life depends on this decision, Foul Play. Pick one you think looks nice. They are all appropriate and they all fit you," Lancer explained patiently. This was true. Foul Play had the frame of a professional athlete and the proportions of a Barbie doll. Add in the gleaming black hair and the violet eyes and just about anything you wrapped her in looked stunning.

"This one is all wrong," came Arcee's voice from the next dressing room. Her disembodied arm materialized from behind the curtain and clicked a red satin dress onto the hook.

"You didn't even try it on," Marissa protested.

"Ich!" Arcee sniffed.

Marissa shook her head. "One won't give us an opinion and the other has too much opinion!"

"Arcee will like the next one," Lancer said calmly. "We've got time, the boys need to wait for their suits. Try the green one Arcee! It will set off your eyes!" She leaned closer to Marissa. "It wouldn't matter what it set off...it will remind her of Springer and she will like it whether she realizes it or not."

There was rustling from the first stall. There was no noise from the second. A glance under the curtain showed Foul Play's feet rocking from toe to heel and back very slowly.

Arcee's curtain finally opened. "I can't reach this part," she said.

Marissa adroitly stepped up to help her tie the spaghetti strings behind her neck. Then she stepped back for inspections.

The gown was a tea-length satin, forest green, with a simple tie at the neck and a bare back down to her waist. Arcee, while not quite as buxom as Foul Play was slim, strong, and curvaceous enough to get away with such a dress. The green contrasted nicely with her rich golden hair and Lancer was right about it setting off her eyes.

"Well?" she asked. This was the 20th or so dress they'd tried on, but far more had been rejected right from the hanger.

Lancer studied her critically which made Marissa nervous. The EDC Captain had had enough and was ready to dress both girls in garbage bags and twine.

"I like it," the assassin said. "And the color looks good on her as well as Rodi."

"What difference does it make if it looks good on him?" Arcee sensibly asked.

Lancer chuckled. "The guy he is playing is vain enough to dress his dates to suit himself. It matters. Come on Foul Play. Hot Rod is wearing black so anything you pick will be fine."

They waited.

The rocking feet picked up speed but otherwise nothing happened.

"How many does she have in there?" Marissa asked.

"Three," Lancer said, sitting down on a bench. "A black, a midnight blue, and a burgundy. They all are disgustingly beautiful on her. Hot Rod's gonna have his hands full watching out for her tomorrow...if she isn't still here that is."

Arcee rustled her way back into her normal tee-shirt and shorts and joined them outside with her dress.

Marissa sat down next to Lancer. Arcee paced a bit and Lancer scooched closer to Marissa. "Sit," she said. "This will take a while."

Arcee made a face and sat.

Lancer watched the feet and Arcee was forced to notice them too.

"Why won't she just pick one?" Arcee asked loudly.

"She doesn't know how," Marissa said quietly.

"Give her some time," Lancer said.

Minutes passed.

The feet rocked.

Arcee's face grew more sullen by the minute. Lancer watched her out of the corner of her eye.

More minutes passed.

The feet stopped rocking.

"Foul Play?" Marissa called.

There was no answer, but there was a sniffle.

Lancer hung her head for a moment and then stood up. She opened the curtain.

Foul Play stood there, shaking, with tears running down her face. She looked desperately at Lancer.

"I..I...can't...you please tell me which one? Please! Just tell me which one to like! I...I...want to go!"

Lancer shook her head at Foul Play and then wrapped her arms around her. The Decepticon didn't know how to respond to that and went rigid. Then she broke and cried. One hand flew to her mouth and she quaked.

"I'm afraid!" she said.

"I know," Lancer said. "It's OK. They'd don't shoot at you or anything. If you can throw rocks at Brawl, you can do this."

"You...you won't tell me what to do?" Foul Play cried in disbelief.

"No I won't. You must do it."

"WHY?"

"Shh...keep your voice down. It's a lesson. I have never been an easy teacher for you. Why would I start now? Now...face this challenge. Don't worry about what I want, or what Marissa wants, or what anyone else wants. Which one does Foul Play like the most? It doesn't matter why you like it most. Just choose between them and be free."

"What...what do you mean?"

"This fear girl. Megatron put it in you so that you would never question his orders or challenge him. Make a choice. Defy him," Lancer said.

"I want to, but I don't know how to decide," Foul Play sniffed.

"Here," Arcee said, taking a dress off the hook and holding it in front of Foul Play. "The black one will make you look sexy, but like you're in control." The Autobot switched dresses while Foul Play gawked at her. Lancer smiled a bit and stepped back. "This one," Arcee picked up the burgundy gown, "will make you look extra sexy...like you're available and looking for someone. The blue one is somewhere in the middle. It's probably the one that will call the least attention to you."

"Why are you being nice to me?" Foul Play asked.

Arcee lowered the blue dress just a bit. "Because they were all right and I was wrong. I'm sorry I was so hard on you...it wasn't fair."

"I'm your enemy," Foul Play whispered.

"You don't have to be," Arcee told her. "I don't think of you that way. Do you want to pick a dress?"

Foul Play stared at her.

Arcee stared back and smile at her.

"I'm sleeping with Hot Rod!" Foul Play blurted out.

"Oh boy," Lancer said, shutting her eyes. Marissa hid her face.

Arcee blinked...and blinked again. She glanced at Marissa and Lancer. Marissa still had her hand over her face; Lancer was calmly looking back at Arcee. Thinking back on recent events, Arcee found she wasn't in the least bit surprised.

"Do you like him?" Arcee asked Foul Play.

"I...I think I may be in love with him," Foul Play whispered.

Arcee blinked again. "Well, that's a choice you made by yourself!"

Foul Play looked at her in astonishment. "I'll take the blue one," she said.

X

X

X

"You need to talk to Springer, pronto," Rodimus told his twin.

Hot Rod wasn't really listening. He was dangling by his collar again.

"Gak! Put me down Asshole!"

Rodimus complied. "You are only acting this way because you think it's fun to annoy me," Rodimus said. "I am not annoyable. If you keep this up, Spike takes you home, and you stay there tomorrow."

"You really are an asshole," Hot Rod complained.

"Years of studious practice. Talk to Springer," Rodimus suggested.

"Why?" Hot Rod asked.

"Because your date tomorrow blurted some things to Arcee," Rodimus said.

"Oh..." Hot Rod replied.

"What's going on?" Springer wanted to know.

"Foul Play told Arcee that she and I are...um...well...."

"You are 'um, well' what?" Springer asked. Then his eyes widened.

"Right," Hot Rod said. "That."

Magnus grabbed his nephew by the head and shoved him enough to jostle his balance. "You're going to need to do better breaking that to your parents," he advised.

"Magnus! You knew?" Springer demanded.

"Yes," Magnus responded. His tone was all City Commander.

"You too?" Springer accused Rodimus.

Rodimus grinned at him like a shark.

"I told you it was a bad idea to have them sitting together!" Springer groaned.

X

X

X

The girls caught up with the boys, bags in hands, and they piled back into the mini-van. Spike got in last, and commented sourly that Op was going to owe him for new shock-absorbers too as his car was now riding only about three inches off the pavement. To Spike's consternation, they didn't head back home, but turned towards, of all places, another mall.

"What is here that wasn't back there?" Spike complained after the twenty minute trip was over. They parked in front of Sears.

"Nothing," Rodimus answered.

"Ah..." Spike responded. "Why does that answer make me want to kill you?"

"Because Hot Rod and Foul Play have been making goo-goo eyes at each other since we left the last place?" Rodimus asked.

"That might be part of it. Really Rodi...why are we here?" Spike queried tiredly. The horde got out of his van one at a time and the clearance got better with each exit.

"You will thank me when it's over," Rodimus assured him. He looked at the others. "You have two hours. Be good. Blend. Don't break anything, don't buy anything without checking first, and don't get arrested! Anybody causing a scene or late back to the car gets an assassin on their case for at least a week. If you're lucky it will be me, if you're not it will be Lancer in demon mode. Any questions? Good. Go have fun."

They blinked at him in amazement for about two seconds and took off like a herd of startled zebra.

"You're turning them loose on innocent by-standers?" Marissa asked in shock. She noted belatedly that Magnus was still by her side. He snuck a hand around her waist.

"They've earned it," Rodimus said. "Don't worry, I've got tracking devices on all of them, but I really think they'll be fine. Come on...why should they get all the fun?

Much to the amazement of the actual humans, the transformed Transformers actually did manage to be pretty good. Hot Rod did have to be told repeatedly he couldn't buy everything, but he only really argued over the armload of music he wanted. Literally, an armload. He quit arguing when Rodimus whispered into his twin's ear that not only did Rodimus already own all of those albums and more, but that they were with him in the cab of his vehicle mode.

Hot Rod was so happy about that news that he didn't even question where the music would be now that Rodimus was in human form. He nearly skipped off, holding Foul Play's hand as she followed in his wake in a daze.

Arcee had fun clothes shopping. She and Carly stuck together for most of the prescribed two hours and had fun looking around. Arcee tried on different outfits and wished it was so easy to change styles in her normal form. The constant change of appearance which had been so unnerving at the beginning was fun and interesting to her now.

Springer spent most of his time trying out exercise equipment at Sears. The staff was glad he was there. His physique drew a crowd (mostly female), which then drew a secondary crowd (mostly male). Sales were good that day.

Spike got a fix in the tool department. High stress equaled a long receipt.

Magnus, Marissa, Lancer and Rodimus started off sort of strolling together through Sears. The boys eventually left the girls behind when Rodi caught Lancer looking wistfully at the children's department. He kissed her, gave her a gentle smile, and led Magnus off towards the mall.

Lancer hesitated in the aisle.

"Don't stop on my account," Marissa said.

Lancer yelped.

Marissa laughed, "You forgot I was with you!"

Lancer laughed awkwardly. "I did. Sorry."

"Why are you sorry? Go look! I like kids' stuff. It's much cooler these days than I remember."

"Yeah. This stuff is kind of retro for our time, but Edana wouldn't care. It's not like she has school friends or anything to keep up with."

"She doesn't go to school on Earth, does she?" Marissa whispered.

"She can't. She stays on the Maelstrom, in Rodi's specially shielded quarters, or in the safe house we are having built in Wyoming. It's a rough life for a little kid. We are giving her an education of course; reading, math, two worlds of history, assassination, battle tactics, explosives. You know... well rounded, but she doesn't have much of a social circle."

"Lancer?"

"Yeah?"

"I...I've never asked you what she's like," Marissa said, shame-faced.

Lancer smiled wanly. "She's...she's a daddy's girl. She's always sweet. And funny as hell. She's careful with people's feelings. I swear she's smarter than Rodi and me put together. She seems...happy." Lancer dropped her head.

"You make that sound like a bad thing," Marissa said.

Lancer sighed. "Edana is only six, but she's an empath, and she's Rodi's child. Does she act happy because she is? Or has she taken a cue from her father and put up a front to keep everyone from worrying? Am I meeting my daughter's emotional needs or is she meeting mine? These jeans are really cute."

"Wow...I never thought of that," Marissa mused. "Does her power let her manipulate feelings or just sense them?"

"Both," Lancer said. "Claudia is helping her master her powers so that her emotions don't leak over everyone around her by accident, but that training also means she has deliberate control over what people around her are feeling. I...I don't think she could directly influence me without my knowledge. My possession has made me very sensitive to that kind of thing, but she can still read me, and act in ways she knows will comfort me. I second guess everything she does and I'm sure she knows it."

"Lancer...that's...that's...I don't know what to even say," Marissa stumbled. There was a long pause. "What a Catch 22."

Lancer nodded her head. "I'm suspicious of my own kid. The more she smiles, the more suspicious I get. Everyone around her is a warrior with one trauma or another in their past. My friends on the Maelstrom all have dark histories. Shellshock is there. Her father's a head-case. Her mother grows horns. If we're on Cybertron she hangs out with the council and Blitzwing...there's a bunch of stable people. Even if she wasn't empathic she's stuck on the ship. It's huge, but it isn't exactly a diverse place, and it doesn't have playgrounds. Malice has a son a few years older than she is, but Evan had radiation poisoning when he was an infant and he's...he's not right. She looks out for him. I would expect a normal six year old to be going stir-crazy...and make no mistake she's got Hot Rod's energy. She never complains. She makes everyone smile. She 'plays' on the obstacle courses, and she asks me when she can start going on missions."

Marissa stared at Lancer. "Daddy's girl," she whispered.

"Right," the mutant responded.

"What...what about Alex?" Marissa asked. "Do you know if she's an empath too?"

Lancer shook her head. "We can't get a reading on Alex at all. You know those hexagonal things we pull out now and then? Those are Jabez scanners. They take readings on everything. Right down to the DNA on any person you scan. It will even calculate the genetic potential of that person's offspring out 3 generations. Usually if you scan someone it will tell you what powers they have at what strength, latent potential, and what you will get if you cross-breed them with this or that."

"That is just scary...and infuriating," Marissa grated through clenched teeth

Lancer smiled grimly. "It won't read Alex."

"What?!"

"It won't read her. If you scan her the thing goes crazy and spouts gibberish. Even the Maelstrom's ship-board scanners, which are run by the Sigma-beta computer can't make sense of her. It's like she's changing minute by minute. All I know is that she's growing really, really fast."

"What do you mean?"

"Those pictures you saw? She looks about a year and a half in them right? When we left she was only nine months old. We've been here six months. If she kept up that rate, she probably looks like she's about 4 by now."

Marissa went pale and just stared.

Lancer didn't look at her. She looked at the clothes. "Edana's favorite color is blue...I wonder...I wonder what Alex's is."

X

X

X

"Are you OK?" Magnus asked Rodi as they walked. The assassin didn't seem to be enjoying the mall much, but Magnus wasn't sure where to go.

Rodi jumped. Then he grinned, "Fine! Why?"

"You looked...preoccupied," Magnus accused.

"Sorry...Marissa and Lancer are looking at the kid's clothes. I guess I'm feeling homesick," Rodimus said, smiling.

"I forget sometimes you two have a family as well as the Autobots and the war to get home to."

"I'm a lucky guy," Rodimus smirked.

"You are worried sick, you are desperate to get back, and you don't fool me for an instant," Magnus announced haughtily.

"I fool you sometimes," Rodimus said.

"Does my twin fall for this crap? Why are we even here? We should be back at home getting ready!"

"I think your guys are getting a bit stir crazy being cooped up in Carly's house all the time."

"So your priority is to give people who have basically been sitting on their butts for months some R&R?" Magnus grumbled.

"My priority is to have troops with clear heads tomorrow," Rodimus said. "Oh look! Hot Topic!" He veered off suddenly into a garish store and refused to answer Magnus' repeated muttering about how he was full of shit. Wandering through the racks of loud clothing and strange toys, Rodimus was brought up short by something on the back wall. Beaming, he seized it off the hanger, checked the size and set out for the checkout. Magnus waited behind him while he paid and vowed not to be distracted, even though he could understand why Rodi found the shirt amusing.

"Where did you get that cash?" Magnus asked.

"We brought it with us, but I hope no one checks too closely...those serial numbers haven't been printed yet," Rodimus grinned.

X

X

X

That wasn't the only thing he paid for that day, although the second item was the result of breakage. After his stern warnings in the parking lot, Rodimus Prime, Autobot Commander, was the only one who broke anything that day. He and Magnus were catching up with Hot Rod and Foul Play in a store called Spencer's when something caught Rodi's attention in entirely the wrong way. Hot Rod was busy going through greeting cards of dubious humor and handing them to Foul Play, who laughed helplessly at most off them...except the ones she didn't understand. Magnus and Rodimus went in to see what could possibly reduce a Decepticon to red-faced tears and to remind the kids their time was running short. Passing through narrow gaps between fan-boy clothing and adult trivia games, Rodimus caught something out of the corner of his eye.

His reaction was as instinctive, fast, and violent as the day of Danny's Conversion.

Magnus, walking just behind him, had no time to react. Rodi's hand lashed out sideways so fast the air around it cracked like a whip. There was a sound of shattered ceramics and the clerk cried, "What the hell?"

Hot Rod and Foul Play ran up to find Magnus frozen, afraid to move. Rodi's face was contorted with hatred and his powerful strike had missed Magnus by millimeters. His expression was frightening, which made it easier not to laugh at him as he stood there, bleeding slightly, with his hand through the face of a ceramic alien head sequestered between the lava lamps and glow in the dark posters of dragons.

"Rodimus! It isn't real!" Magnus whispered urgently. "What's gotten into you?"

The clerk scurried around the counter towards them.

"What happened?" she demanded. She couldn't have been more that 17 years old, 5' 1", and maybe 100 pounds, but she worked at Spenser's and she didn't take crap.

"Um..." Magnus said. Rodimus still hadn't moved his hand or acknowledged anyone. His eyes were green, pupils constricted, and his breath came in slow, ragged rasps. "Um...my friend here lost his balance and caught himself badly," Magnus explained hastily.

"Whatever," said the girl. Her hand-written name tag said "Brandi" and she had dotted the "i" with a heart. "Your friend there can pay for that."

Rodimus finally pulled his hand out of the mess and looked at her. He blinked and was suddenly all smiles. "Sorry about that! I'm just clumsy! How much?"

"Fifty three dollars, plus tax!"

"Wow! I sure know what to fall on, don't I?" Rodimus said. He followed the girl to the cash register and paid her.

"Do you want the pieces? Maybe you could glue them or something," she offered more kindly. Now that he'd paid, she was no longer suspicious.

"No thanks," he said, flashing her another smile. "You keep them."

She smiled back, looking a bit smitten and then did a double take when Hot Rod walked by the counter as they headed quickly out. Foul Play, stunned but alert, grabbed Hot Rod's arm possessively and steered him outside after Magnus.

"Is that what the Jabez look like?' Hot Rod whispered to his twin.

"Yes," Rodimus said. "Why the fuck would anyone want to buy anything like that? And if they don't exist here where did that image come from?"

"I don't know," Magnus said gravely, "but if that's how your react to your enemies I am really glad you are on our side."

No one them commented on what was most on their minds. They all knew with complete certainty, exactly how Daniel Witwicky's Convert had met its end.

Continued In Part E!


	5. Chapter 5

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?  
Part E

Continued from Part D

Back at base, as in the Witwicky house, the gang spent the rest of the day practicing their "roles". There wasn't a lot to do. Magnus had to stand looking surly and watching for trouble, Springer merely had to imitate him. Arcee was a bit nervous about being asked to dance with Rodimus since she knew nothing of human dancing. In only a few seconds of "practice" she realized it made virtually no difference. Human dancing apparently involved the male taking the female's hand and pushing her to or fro and spinning her whichever way he saw fit. She had no choice but to turn or step the direction he was leading.

"So...if I mess up it's your fault?" she asked.

"Entirely!" Rodimus assured her.

"That's fine then," she grinned.

Hot Rod's role was similarly easy. He was playing Rodimus' younger brother, and it was mostly his job to stick close to Foul Play and keep other males at bay. He expressed confidence this would be easy until Rodimus reminded him that he wasn't allowed to hit anyone.

"That takes the fun out of it," Hot Rod complained.

Teaching Foul Play to walk like a flighty young girl rather than a warrior on the defensive proved harder but she was determined. Somehow she had decided this mission was her chance to prove herself.

"Don't stalk," Lancer advised her. "You look like you're hunting prey. Sway. You're a lovely young lady and everything you've ever wanted has been handed to you."

Foul Play made a face. "That's a long stretch, Lancer."

Lancer smiled. "I know."

Marissa and Arcee made several attempts to demonstrate with only marginal success.

Help came unexpectedly.

"Try walking like you've got an itch between your legs," Rodimus suggested, "and you can't use your hands to scratch it!"

This helpful suggestion drew cries of outrage from Carly and Marissa, but it actually got Foul Play started. Once she got the hip action going all it took was a bit of refining before Marissa pronounced her walk satisfactory.

"You have such a way with words, my love," Lancer told her mate.

"Right...and now for an order I never thought I'd have to give. Everybody get lucky tonight! It MIGHT make tomorrow a bit easier!" Rodimus ordered in his best commanding officer's voice.

This earned him lots of saluting.

X

X

X

The next afternoon was Carly's biggest contribution to the cause. She sat Foul Play and Arcee in her bathroom and did arcane things to their faces while Lancer perched on the counter and watched. The eye-lash curler nearly threw Foul Play into a panic and Arcee complained about the smell of the hair-spray. Their faces and tresses were slathered with potions, heated, twisted, and twirled. Like an alchemist, Carly drew from a vast array of colors and mediums, using odd devices and a magician's flair.

Each befuddled girl took about an hour to transform and neither was allowed to see a mirror or each other. Arcee was done first and was sequestered in Carly's bedroom with Marissa providing security while Foul Play struggled to sit still through her session.

"Human females don't really DO all of this to attract mates?" Foul Play asked in amazement. Carly chose that moment to spritz her with perfume.

"Yes they do, and when you see Hot Rod's face you will know why," Carly assured her.

"I attracted Hot Rod with no effort on my part whatsoever," Foul Play said primly. "I certainly didn't set out to snare him."

Carly just laughed at her, "Wait and see."

The boys were all getting their finishing touches when the girls came down. Rodimus was trying to get the right length on Springer's tie.

"You have the thickest neck I've ever seen," Rodimus told him.

"Better a thick neck than a fat head," Springer remarked. He was not happy with the tie or the suit....but the shoes were making him quite cranky.

"I wouldn't know," Rodimus told him, "But maybe someday Ratchet will be able to help you with all that."

Hot Rod snickered from the couch. He looked quite comfortable in his jeans and sneakers.

"Hey, Hot Rod. If you want to live long enough to grow up to be this idiot I'd quit snickering," Springer said.

"Whoops!" Rodimus said. Springers tie suddenly cinched itself tight enough to push his Adam's apple right through the back of his neck. "Now how did that happen?" Rodimus asked in a sincerely perplexed voice. He wrapped his fist around Springer's tie at the knot and pulled Springer's face down.

Springer gurgled.

"Let's remember that this idiot goes by 'Prime' now, shall we? Let's also remember that this idiot is also an assassin with psychotic tendencies." Rodimus asked in that same, relaxed voice.

Springer made a sort of affirmative gasp, and nodded. Rodimus let the tie go.

"What was that?" he inquired mildly.

"Yes, Sir," Springer said.

"Very good. Now stand up straight and quit wiggling so I can get this thing the right length," Rodimus said.

Hot Rod sat on the couch and absorbed everything. Magnus grinned, but privately worried.

"Done!" Rodimus said. "The girls are almost ready too, so brace yourselves."

"Why?" Magnus asked. "You aren't doing the pheromone thing now are you?"

"Heh..." Rodimus grinned. "You've never been on an official date with Marissa, have you? Well, let's just say that where I have stupid Jabez scent tricks, Carly has mascara. There's no contest. Mascara is far more potent."

"You are nuts," Springer noted.

"Truth, but I am right about this," Rodimus smirked. "Spike...you want your video camera!"

.

.  
They didn't have long to wait. Marissa came down first wearing a form fitting business blazer and skirt. Her hair was twisted elegantly up onto her head and she was done up with a full treatment of eye make-up, lip stick and blush.

Magnus was positively dumb-struck and Spike got great close-ups of the dignified City-Commander opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish. Spike figured he had enough bribery material to pay for Danny's college.

Then Foul Play and Arcee were unveiled at the top of the stairs. Carly announced them with a flourish of "trumpet" noises and a big "Tah-dah!" The girls, once so at odds with each other, sort of hung back together - perplexed and a bit unnerved by their own transformation. The change was so fantastic Magnus was even forced to peel his eyes off Marissa.

Hot Rod and Springer both gaped and saluted, but not with their hands.

"Oh boy," Rodimus groaned. "They're even more susceptible than I thought."

Arcee's make-up was done in light blue and green eye-shadow, coral blush, and high-shine lip gloss. The mascara and eye-liner made a huge difference around her bright blue eyes. Her deep green dress revealed a lot of cleavage and contrasted beautifully against her light skin and golden blonde hair. Carly had done Foul Play up with blue and violet eye-shadow and deep maroon lip-stick. Her eye-lashes were already dark, so it was the rouge that made the biggest difference on her face, giving her creamy, often pale skin some color.

Hot Rod squirmed and looked a bit embarrassed...especially when Rodi snickered at his twin and Springer.

"Are you sure you can handle this boys?" Rodimus wanted to know. "If you can't settle down you may tear your pants and we'll have to leave you here. Then Magnus and I will have the girls to ourselves."

"Hey! That's not fair!" Hot Rod said.

"Well...we don't have time for a cold shower...how's about some ice in your underwear?"

"We could..." Springer started to suggest.

"No we couldn't...we need to get going," Rodimus interrupted with a leer. "Besides...you need to be ready to deal with her at the club. Have a little patience."

"That's not fair either," Magnus and Hot Rod complained in unison.

Spike and the girls roared, while Rodi and Springer simply looked smug.

"This is not exactly standard mission objectives guys...sneak in, check, seduce mobster girl, check, Arcee and Springer get lucky, check!" Rodimus reminded them. "I don't regularly schedule sex breaks as part of a mission."

"More's the pity," Magnus mused, a little wistfully. "I wonder if I can get Optimus to...nah...he's to much of a by-the-book commander."

This notion inspired a long perplexed pause throughout the entire room.

"Oh, you'll be fine," Marissa assured him, "and if you are patient I promise to make it worth the wait!"

"Let's go!" Magnus said.

X

X

X

Angela was bored...bored and resentful. As manager of Club Aqua she wielded the final say in who of the long, expensively dressed queue cooling their heels on the sidewalk got in or went home.

When she first landed the "job" a few years ago she had been justifiably proud. She knew Romeo wouldn't trust his crown jewel to anyone simply because they gave good head...although that had gotten her the interview. She had seen to it the club was well-managed and business was flourishing, but the further moves up into his business she had anticipated were not forthcoming. Apparently, she had reached the only position he would trust a woman for...other than bent over his desk. While he called her his girlfriend and kept her strictly monogamous with him, she knew he had that new waitress bent over his desk right now. He didn't even bother to hide his trysts. Yesterday he had left used condoms on the floor to their bedroom. It was humiliating and infuriating.

It was like he was daring her to challenge him.

She glanced at the bouncer who was looking equally bored and considered seducing him. No. He was an ex-con and he owed Romeo from somewhere way back. He might be willing to bang her, but he'd turn her in to Romeo immediately after. She had bribery material on Romeo which would keep him from killing her, a sensible precaution she was glad she had seen to long before things turned sour, but he could still make her life very uncomfortable.

Automatically, she scanned the line, making note of who she wanted to cull long before they got to the door. It occurred to her as she did that if she wanted to truly upset Romeo, disturbing his business would cut a lot deeper.

A solution presented itself like a gift from the heavens.

A black Hummer stretch limo parked itself in the no stopping zone right in front of the club...usually an automatic no-admittance offense for Angela. She hated Hummer limos. Ostentatious. The driver didn't seem too competent either...it took a long time for him to actually get out of the car to open the door for his passengers.

The look on his face...annoyed.

When his clientele got out she started to understand...they smirked at him in a way that was surely degrading. Angela sympathized, at least until the nature of his clients completely distracted her.

First out were a pair of simply enormous body-guards. The first raised her eye-brows. 6'5" at least and giving the impression he was almost as wide as he was tall. Men-in-black-outfit. Sunglasses. At 11 pm. Who had dressed this goon anyway?

Dressed to impress or not, he did do a good job of scanning the area. Then the second guard got out and drew gasps of amazement from those in line. Seven' tall if he was an inch and just as wide as the first, although his height wore it better, this guard somehow made the black suit and shades seem appropriate and necessary. Trying to imagine him in anything else didn't work. He scanned the street and the crowd with a face that looked as though it had never smiled. Obviously he had been born full grown like Athena...surely that visage had never been part of a child.

Impressed in spite of herself, Angela wondered who this pair of gorillas was escorting.

Out came a very professional looking woman with chestnut hair and as stern an expression as the body-guard. Angela's alarm bells went off. The woman moved with efficient, almost military precision and Angela sensed a rival. She was just making up her mind to send them packing when the real clients got out. First came a 6' tall, raven haired beauty who drew nearly as many gasps from the crowd as the gorilla. Her escort was a cute red-haired young man who was obviously infatuated with her and was as painfully aware of her effect on the crowd as she seemed to be oblivious to it. These two were followed by another 6' beauty who moved gracefully and confidently out of the limo and scanned the crowd as if they were so much debris on the street.

Angela was about to decide that the blonde was the real client when she was followed by another red-headed male.

Unlike his younger, (similar...obviously related) companion, this man had eyes for far more than his date. Indeed, he barely looked at her when he stepped out of the car and took her arm. He smiled at the crowd and his face went from merely handsome to stunningly charismatic. His impossibly red hair was tied back like a pirate's, and his emerald eyes gleamed with mischief and adrenalin. Waving at people as though he expected to be recognized he positively beamed at the attention he and his entourage were getting.

Angela was familiar enough with celebrities (on both sides of the law) to know an arranged "sighting" when she saw one. She heard murmurs in the crowd as those waiting tried to place the name of this obviously famous person. Also trying to think of his name, and drawing a blank, Angela concluded that the man was probably a nobody looking to get noticed. That explained the over-pretentious feel to the whole show.

Just the kind of person she delighted in sending off in disgrace. They were usually demanding, unreasonable, and nothing but trouble.

Confidently striding up the steps, with his fierce looking date on his arm, he surprised her by ignoring her door-man completely. She was impressed that at least he knew who was really in charge.

She narrowed her eyes, considering telling him to get in line so that he could wait for hours before she sent his arrogant ass home, when he leaned close and purred (PURRED) into her ear.

"Well, Angela, are you going to let us in...or not?" was all he said.

She drew breath and pulled back, absolutely infuriated by his audacity when she met his eyes. He hadn't moved or looked offended by her withdrawal, he just smiled, still leaning too close to be proper.

He was trying to seduce her! With that gorgeous, alert blonde right there!

Trouble, trouble, trouble! If he knew her name did he know her boyfriend? Was he ignorant...or didn't he care? And wasn't trouble just what she wanted right now?

She pondered, and became aware of something else. Unlike the bouncer, who she only thought of as a tool to get even with Romeo, this man was someone she apparently found exquisitely attractive. This confused her a bit too...she was no prude, but she was usually pretty distant from her attractions. Sex was just another tool to get ahead for her.

Not this guy...weird. Red-heads were usually not her type, but boy was her body responding. Apparently she wasn't alone either. The women at the front of the line were staring at him like a pack of starved wolves... and none of their dates were looking too happy about it. There would be fights later if this kept up.

Perfect.

"Of course I will let you in, Handsome...but only if you promise to dance with me," Angela whispered back into his ear.

"That is a price I will gladly pay as many times as you want to come... join me on the floor," he said.

The blonde rolled her eyes and looked disgusted, but not surprised.

Angela sensed this blonde was too intelligent to put up with this blatant disrespect for long.

More trouble.

Perfect.

She ushered them in without even collecting the standard bribe for allowing line-jumping.

The bouncer's eyes widened and the crowd muttered. Some of it sounded intrigued. Some angry.

Things just got better and better.  
X

X

X

Angela restrained her curiosity and her hormones for about half an hour. Going inside was something she rarely did on weekends when the crowds were big, but she left the door-man to his own devices and had a look around the club.

She found the entourage off to one side. The professional woman, presumed to be the red-head's manager, looked bored and was apparently chaperoning the young boy and his date. Angela took this to mean the kid was probably under-age. The body-guards (who were remarkably professional if they were hired by the hour as Angela suspected) had taken up stations on either side of the dance floor. The tall one...er...taller one was dutifully watching the red-head and the crowd. The other...ah...the other was watching the red-head, but only because he was currently dancing with the blonde. She was looking dazed and distracted...not at all like she had stepping out of the limo.

Angela wondered if she was drunk already.

Certainly, the rest of the crowd was not making life easy for the body-guards. As the red-head and his date danced they were surrounded by every single girl in the club (and a few with fuming dates left on the sidelines.) Angela tried to evaluate her own attraction to the man and couldn't put her finger on it. Certainly he knew how to move, although she was surprised to note his date didn't seem to know how to dance as well as he did.

Angela threaded her way through the crowd and noted the taller body-guard tracking her progress. His height was certainly an advantage for his career.

She had to force her way past the inner circle of obsessed females and ignored their angry curses.

The dancing couple seemed to be ignoring all of them.

"I've come to collect my debt now," she said.

He turned those vivid green eyes on her and smiled again. She decided she would do whatever she could to get him off the dance floor and on to her as quickly as possible.

"Of course you have," he said. "Go get a drink," he said to his date coldly.

The blonde, still looking drugged or drunk, glared at him vaguely. "You are an asshole," she said, drawing murmurs of hope and outrage from the other dancers.

"This asshole is doing you a favor bringing you here, bitch. Go fuck yourself."

They glared at each other and then the blonde stormed off the dance floor. She headed straight for the blonde body-guard and Angela didn't think it was a coincidence.

"I'm sorry," she said. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

"Why?" he asked. "She's a whore. She's been banging my body guard on the side. I should fire him, but they work as a team and the other guy is the best in the business. She can fuck him all she wants. I don't care. She'll be back asking for it before too long."

"So I take it you two have an open relationship?" Angela asked. All thoughts of using him to start a brawl were forgotten. What was with this guy?

He took her in his arms and moved her around the dance floor like a professional.

"Very open," he purred, running his hand lightly from her chin to her collar bone. She shuddered, and tried to think of something, anything, to get him upstairs into her office.

Glancing up to where she wanted to take him, she saw with shock that Romeo was standing at the top of the stairs. He must have finished with the waitress really quickly...no. The bouncer was there with him. She'd been ratted out. This was not unexpected. It was what she wanted, but now she had a new agenda of laying this stranger and she was afraid it was already too late.

True to her fears, the power went off. A favorite trick of Romeo's. The club's emergency lights had an illegal remote controlled timer on them which he could use if he wanted to nab somebody off the dance floor. HIS body-guards had night goggles.

There were the usual cries of fear in the total darkness and then she heard her dance partner grunt. She felt him double-over and knew he'd taken a hit to the gut.

The lights came back on. He was gone, and so was Romeo.

X

X

X

Magnus scoured the dance floor, the rest-rooms and the bar area, trying to maintain an appearance of professional concern. He was nearly ready to panic about Rodi's disappearance when suddenly Rodimus reappeared. Then Magnus really panicked.

Rodimus looked distraught. He couldn't stand straight and there was blood running down his face through his fingers. He had been missing about 15 minutes.

"We have t' go," he said to Magnus urgently.

"Springer and Arcee are still on the roof!" Magnus said.

"Dey're in the stairwell...they din't make de roof. Lancer is gedding dem. Led's go!"

Magnus helped him stand and rushed him to the door, signaling Marissa, Hot Rod, and Foul Play to follow. By the time the got out to where Spike was leaning on the hood of the Hummer, pointedly ignoring the ticket that was being written as he stood there for where they were parked, Springer and Arcee were hurrying to join them.

Neither of them looked happy at all.

Spike's eyes widened as the lot of them came rushing out of the club and he opened the door to expedite their escape - not because he was supposed to.

Magnus was grateful the car was so tall as he nearly threw the bleeding and groaning Rodimus into the limo. The others piled in a lot more quickly than they could Spike's mini-van and Spike took enough of a clue from their hurry to hop into the driver's seat and take off.

Marissa rushed across the limo to where Rodi was sitting holding both his nose and his gut. Whatever concern she was about to voice was cut off when she realized that the strangled noises he was emitting were not those of painful distress, but suppressed laughter.

The minute the limo door slammed shut he began laughing for real.

"Rodi?!" Marissa asked.

"'M fine M'rissa," he said.

"You don't sound fine! You're bleeding everywhere!"

"Dey broke my dose," he told her, as if that explained it. "Msson komplished." The laughter continued.

"Rodimus! Where's Lancer?" Spike called back through the chauffeur's window.

"'Top a the light," Rodimus said.

"Where am I going to pick her up?" Spike asked. He was more than ready to go home.

There was a light thud on the top of the Hummer, and Rodimus opened the sun-roof with a grin. A sleek black form slid in quickly and pushed him back onto the seat so that she could sit in his lap. Lancer apparently found the situation every bit as amusing as Rodimus did.

"Aww...poor baby," she said, grabbing his nose firmly. There was a wet snap as she swiftly reset his nose.

"Ouchie," Rodimus giggled. "Bled nicely didn't it?"

"You always had a flair for the dramatic," Lancer told him.

The rest of the passengers exchanged glances and then tried to outshout each other in exasperation at the assassin pair. Magnus roared for quiet...if anyone was going to grill these two he reserved the right.

"What happened?! Where did you disappear to? Did you get the information you needed? WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!"

"I have a tendency to over-complicate things," Rodimus said to his mate, wrapping his hand around her waist. She made a kissy face at him and wiped the blood off his nose and chin. They both giggled hysterically.

"Rod-i-mus...what...happened?" Magnus growled.

"Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch Major General. This went exactly as planned, but I learned in retrospect I could have gotten away with way less of a plan," Rodimus informed him.

Magnus looked at Lancer, "You got what you wanted?"

"Oh yes. We have a piggy-backed signal on their cameras, audio and video bugs in places their security didn't meet our needs, a viral upload into their computers which will give us unrestricted access to everything they do and everyone they contact, and even a tracking device planted in Romeo's flabby ass. He thinks he got a spider bite while he was nailing that waitress, but really I hit him with a blow dart," Lancer said nonchalantly. "We own them."

"I love you," Rodimus told her.

"Mmmm, I know. Do you want me to get rid of the car tailing us?"

"If you would be so kind, Lady Assassin," Rodimus said, never taking his eyes off of her.

She looked out the back window, where there was indeed a car following them. Her eyes flared briefly. The lights behind them suddenly shut off and the car stopped pursuing.

"Bad wiring. You'd think a car that expensive would have better quality control than that," Lancer mused. She and Rodimus stared into each other's eyes.

Magnus was losing his temper. He poked Rodimus in the arm...hard.

"Hey...oh right. You want what happened. Exactly like I told you. I got cozy with Angela, Romeo objected, he discussed his objections with me, and then we left. Lancer had even more time then we thought to get everything done though," Rodimus said. He grinned and she dissolved into girlish giggles on his shoulder.

"What is so funny?" Magnus intoned.

"Well," Rodimus said with that grin that gave Magnus chills. "We went to all this trouble to set everything up. I didn't realize we had a much simpler way to distract Romeo's security."

"What?" Spike cried from the front. "I rented this damned expensive tour bus for nothing! I feel like the back-end is in a different time-zone! One of you damned semis should be driving this stupid thing."

"Sorry Spike," Rodimus said. "I didn't realize all we needed to distract ALL of Romeo security guards was to have Springer and Arcee have sex in the stair-well! Well done, by the way. You parked yourselves right under the security cameras."

Lancer giggled, "There were no less than five horny men surrounding that camera's screen. I was able to rewire their camera systems right under their noses."

"If you're so grateful you could've let us finish," Springer snapped.

"You finished more than once already," Lancer reminded him.

Arcee glared at her, eyes glazed, and shuddered.

"The poor girl," Lancer said to her mate, "Look what you've done to her."

Rodimus arched his eyebrows at her, "Just what I do to you all the time," he said.

"Dear God, I hate this," Marissa said, flushing. She opened all the windows and hung her head out. Foul Play did the same. It didn't help much as Arcee grabbed a hold of Springer and was kissing him violently. The noises they were making left nothing to the imagination. Hot Rod grimaced and decided dress pants would have been better than jeans after all.

"Drive faster, Spike," Magnus said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear that more and more these days," Spike complained. He made it back to the rental place in record time. They removed the fake licence plate they had used to cover the real one, returned the keys, scrambled into Spike's van, and made even better record time all the way home.

Continued In Part F!


	6. Chapter 6

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Part F

Continued from Part E

Very late the next morning Magnus found Rodi and Lancer parked in Spike's office as if they owned the place.

"Marissa won't be down for a while," he informed them, "And from the activity I heard in Springer's and Arcee's room last night I doubt they'll be out of bed until tomorrow."

Rodimus smiled but didn't turn away from the computer screen. He was looking at a massive amount of e-mail on a split screen. The other side of the monitor showed images of the club through the eyes of the security cameras.

"So what really happened last night?" Magnus asked.

" Heh. Do you really want to know?" Rodi asked.

"Rodi...I've asked at least three times," Magnus pointed out.

"The blackout was staged to nab me. They pulled me off the dance floor and took me to that room behind the bar. There were three goons and Romeo. It is sound-proofed and cluttered with extra booze. I guess if they ever get raided they'll just claim it's a store room....but in this case they had a nice chair with restraints for lil' ol' me. They tied me up, and explained that they didn't like persons such as myself dancing with the owner's girl friend."

Rodi chuckled. "I, being truly terrified of such big tough gangsters, assured them I had no idea she was anyone's girlfriend and that I was simply trying to get my modeling career off the ground by making a scene. I told them I had inherited money recently and rented the limo and some guards in hopes of getting noticed. They were of course so fascinated and impressed. When they started beating me up, I begged them not to hit my face so of course they went right for my nose. Then they threw me out and informed me most seriously if I went to the cops they would kill me. In the mean time Lancer planted our virus in Romeo's computer and more importantly in the book-keeper's computer, wired all the rooms with bugs, and took snapshots of some of the papers on Romeo's desk."

"You just let them beat you up?" Magnus asked, incredulous.

"Sure...I was just the diversion, Magnus. I played the spoiled pretty-boy thing to the hilt. They didn't even feel the need to hit me that hard. You hit me harder in practice. It was a pretty sad beating to be honest. I kept wanting to tell them to put their weight into it."

"I don't think I could just...let anyone hit me like that. I think I would have to fight back."

"I do what I have to Magnus...and so would you if you had to. There is no reason to think this guy is even high enough up to deal with the Quints. He just our foot in the door. If anything untoward were to happen to him the bigger fish would get nervous. As it is, they are telling themselves they had a good night. The club had some excitement, Angela and Romeo worked out some of their differences, they worked in a good beating, and everyone went home happy. Nothing to bother the higher ups about at all."

"Angela and Romeo worked out their differences? How do you know?" Magnus asked.

Lancer grinned. "After the club closed Romeo tried to give her a hard time about cheating on him, but she was so wired she ended up jumping his bones all over the club. She wore him out and now he sees it as a ploy to get his attention."

"You are trouble Rodimus," Magnus insisted. He watched Rodi scrolling down page after page of email. "What are you looking for?"

"I don't know exactly. Hopefully something will jump out at me. These guys are careful and they never actually say what they are doing. It's all done in code or in person."

"There's a lot to go through," Magnus mused.

"More than you think. The virus we uploaded will infiltrate every one of the computers these e-mails are generated from as soon as they connect with the internet. Then it does the same with every one of the e-mails on those computers, and so on. The information we have to go through keeps expanding exponentially."

"That's some virus," Magnus said.

"One of my friends used the Sigma-Beta computer on the Maelstrom to write it," Lancer said.

"What do you mean...Sigma Beta?" Magnus asked.

"Well...the Sigma Alpha computer is Vector Sigma. Jabez construction brought to sentience by meddling Quints. It is made of the same crystal as the Matrix only it's about twenty-six feet in diameter."

"Twenty Six FEET?!" Magnus cried.

"Yes, my daddy is a big glowing disco ball," Rodimus said bitterly.

"On the Maelstrom we have the Sigma-Beta and the Sigma-Gamma computers. Sigma Gamma runs the engines and the cloaking field. Sigma Beta runs everything else in a network with about 300 other smaller Matrix based crystals."

Magnus stared at her. "That is some ship," he finally said.

"There's nothing else like it in the universe," she assured him. "If there was we'd already be dead."

Magnus shook his head and turned back to something he felt he had a better grasp on, "How will you find what you need in all of that?"

"Maybe I won't," Rodimus said. "It might not even exist, but this is a big part of what we do Magnus. Slavers don't exactly advertise either. You get a feel for what to look for, you look into a lot of innocent dead-ends, and once in a while you hit pay dirt. Actually, the one with a real gift for it is Marissa."

"Really?" Magnus asked. He deliberately restrained himself from asking too many questions about his twin, but this mention of Marissa's twin intrigued him. Lancer grinned at how his ears perked up.

"She is our targeting system," Lancer informed him. "She uses her access to EDC with brutal precision. Figuring out which shipments are legit and which are slavers is her specialty. She gives the leads to Rodi or to us on the Maelstrom and we track it down."

"Why would her position in EDC be so helpful with Slaver runners?" Marissa asked, coming up behind Magnus and giving him a big squeeze around the waist.

"Morning Marissa, how'd ya sleep?" Rodi asked.

"I didn't, as you well know," she said, reaching around Magnus to cuff him on the back of the head.

"You're welcome," Rodimus said, grinning up at her.

"Dear lord, I expected you to look like a racoon this morning! I was all set to tease you about it and there's hardly a bruise!" Marissa complained.

"Not fair, is it? He should at least suffer a bit for the trouble he causes," Lancer mused.

"Lady Assassin, you get to feel it when I'm hurt so maybe you shouldn't complain too much that I heal fast!"

Lancer chuckled and kissed his nose.

"Ouch," he said.

Marissa, undistracted, repeated her question and noted that neither seemed to want to look at her. She put her hands on her hips and waited.

"So are you two sore this morning?" Rodimus leered, "Arcee's probably seen to it that Springer can't even walk right anymore."

Magnus crossed his arms and looked angry. "Why do you even bother?" he asked. "If you don't want to tell us just say so! You keep trying these childish distractions...you really can't expect them to work, can you?"

Rodimus turned his chair full around and met Magnus' eyes. The truth was, he did expect them to work, at least on Magnus. He wondered about that...why did he expect them to work? Because at home they did. Why didn't they work here? Because Magnus would have to be stupid to fall for them...but Magnus at home wasn't stupid...neither was anyone else on the council...so why did Rodi's ploys usually divert them?

Ultra Magnus glared down at the man in front of him, "You play the fool very well. Sometimes I think you are better at being Hot Rod than Hot Rod is. He is silly, but when he needs to he can focus and it shows. You focus all the time and hide it. Why do you do that? Shouldn't your people see you as competent?"

"It's a cover...most of the Autobots don't even know about the Jabez, and we don't want our enemies getting suspicious. I want the universe at large to think of the Autobot leadership as being Optimus Prime and that other guy...ya know...the goof with the flames. If an enemy telepath scans my people's minds for what Rodimus is up to, I want the prevailing attitude to be he must be off playing hooky again. Certainly he's not doing anything serious."

"I understand that," Magnus pressed, "but you keep pulling it on US. Like it's habit. Supposedly every Autobot in this house has a twin on your inner council and yet you consistently play the fool for our benefit. What is wrong with that picture? After all you've been through, surely your friends can't believe that bullshit. Is it so hard for you to keep up this front that you can't be yourself in front of the people who work with you?"

Lancer growled, and glared at Rodimus. She had repeatedly expressed frustration with his friends that they always seemed so... surprised at how he operated... at his skill, his competence, and the depth of his pain. That he wasn't really a child playing a grown-up game.

She felt, deep down, that they didn't support him or believe in him. It hurt and enraged her. She was afraid when she died that he would once more be alone.

Rodimus' attitude was always that their attitude was something he could exploit so why worry about it?

Her insistence that it wasn't worth the price rolled off of him in a way she found incredibly frustrating. Usually their link made understanding each other very easy, even when they disagreed. On this issue though, he just couldn't see her point of view. It was like she was bouncing these thoughts off of a rubber wall.

Rodimus stared at this Magnus a long, long time.

"It...doesn't make sense...does it?" he finally whispered.

"No. My twin must be brain-damaged if he falls for your crap," Magnus averred.

"Brain-damaged...or brain-washed. Would it surprise you to know that I think of myself that way? That I play Hot Rod because...because I am Hot Rod...because I'm supposed to be that way forever? I'm not REALLY Rodimus Prime...and I never will be."

"That's asinine," Marissa said. "Even if he never goes through what you did, Hot Rod is growing up. He's absorbing the training you've given him like a sponge! He's good with Foul Play when she gets upset, he's standing up for himself when Springer gets rude...Come on! Why would you be the only kid in the universe who never grows up? Why would you want to be? You aren't Peter Pan!"

"I...I'm not..." Rodimus held his head...it hurt. Lancer felt something alien moving through his thoughts...something she had just accepted because it had always been there...but now. She felt a schism...an idea that was embedded in him...that he was always the young one...the child in a grown up body...always...and never had reality and the idea seemed so at war. She grabbed a hold of his mind and fought like she had when Unicron had tested her mental defenses.

You are my mate. I know you! And THAT is NOT you! she roared into his soul. She finally recognized that evil, nagging self-doubt for what it was...an implant! Or at least an encouraged weakness, an obsession like Kup's obsession with her. Now that it was out in the open she saw the barrier to Rodi's acceptance of himself as a foreign thing. In the mental landscape she shared with her mate she went on the offensive - attacking that idea as she had never attacked anything in his mind before. They were always respectful of each other's differences. She certainly feared the idea that they would ever become a sort of combined mind in two bodies. This time though she assaulted the resistance until it broke. To him it was painful, but painful in the way of a dislocated limb suddenly snapped back into place. For the first time he didn't feel the need to contort his self-perception to accommodate the fact he was really Hot Rod underneath it all in spite of all evidence to the contrary.

All Magnus and Marissa saw was Rodimus clutching his head. Lancer's suddenly demoned out and her eyes glowed, but neither of them moved. Suddenly Rodimus grabbed Spike's garbage can and vomited orange juice violently. The dry heaves which followed lasted quite a while and Marissa rubbed his back. Lancer didn't move and wouldn't answer Magnus' demands about what was happening.

Finally, Rodimus stopped convulsing and grabbed his head again. "Great Cybertron that hurts," he said quietly.

Lancer moved too, but only to pace the room. Her talons on the floor made an unnerving clicking and it was clear she was looking for something to hurt.

"Rodi! What the hell?!" Marissa cried.

"Thank you," he said.

"What?!"

"Thank you...if you hadn't confronted me...I might have gone on with that for the rest of my life," he whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Magnus asked. He was following Lancer out of the corner of his eye...his gladiator instincts saying she would be very happy to kill something right about now.

"Brain-washed...Vector Sigma...the idea that I am always a child. It's been there...seems like forever. Probably when the Matrix choose me...it was natural to doubt myself. I had no training...most of my people were older than me...but it became such a source of pain for me. Kup and Magnus were always reminding me too...maybe some of it was really them...but I think Vector Sigma amplified it. Probably to control me. Op's tactics were changing...I wonder...if pressure from Earth was the reason his fight with Megatron was fatal to begin with... They tried to mold me in his old style, but that wasn't...me...and the humans wanted the Cons gone... Then Optimus got revived and everyone expected Hot Rod again...including me! And I just couldn't...it made me suicidal...trying to fit back into that role and failing. My head hurts...but I feel like...I feel...free?"

Marissa tried to sort through all of that and merely came up appalled, "You are saying your entire command staff has been brain-washed into thinking of you as a perpetual kid?!"

Lancer began growling in a low, continuous rumble.

"Oh..." Rodimus said weakly, "I'm sure there's a lot more to it than that. When this headache goes away I'm sure I'll come up with a lot more blatant stupidities I can attribute to Fucking Shit. Lancer, love...I'm OK. Angel calm down...it's not even in this dimension. We'll get home. I promise we'll free them too."

"We may never know the extent of it," Lancer snarled in that unsettling demonic voice.

"We don't have to...we just need to neuter it for the future. I think being on Earth, interacting with humans, all of that has weakened it's control. We need to end it quickly, but I think it was ending on its own."

Lancer growled again. Rodimus studied her warily.

"Lancer...you need to cool off...you are getting out of hand, Love," Rodi whispered weakly. Then he started heaving again.

"When we get home I'll show you out of hand," Lancer vowed.

"If we're going to get home, you need to let me scan these files and not fill my brain with images of Vector Sigma. I don't mind all the lovely ways you are envisioning shredding it, but they are very distracting," Rodi said when he could sit up, rubbing his temple. His face was ashen.

"Look at you," she said, kneeling before him, "You are sick. I've never seen you sick. I'm going to kill it for what it did to you. Letting Galvatron pull your circuits out...all that guilt and self-doubt. I can't believe I didn't notice before now!" She reached up and touched his clammy face, pushing sweaty hair out of his eyes. "Love, I'm sorry I let it go on so long."

"You couldn't know. It was there when you met me," Rodimus said.

"I should have known...how could the man I love be so brazen and so doubtful simultaneously? I should have known," Lancer insisted.

Rodimus shrugged, which inflamed his volcanic migraine and his stomach again. He heaved but managed to control himself. "My head is gonna explode," he complained. "Maybe I should go outside and morph."

"Like hell you will!" Lancer ordered. "I wouldn't put it past that piece of crystalline trash to have put a self-destruct sequence in anyone who breaks its compulsions! Being human might just be keeping you alive!"

"Lancer, you don't really think that...?" Marissa started. Then she thought back on everything she'd learned about Vector Sigma. "Nevermind. Maybe we should get him to bed."

"We've got to start going through those files," Rodimus contested. He looked up at Spike's bright computer screen and winced.

"Go...or I'll pick you up and carry you," Magnus informed him.

"I'll probably puke on you," Rodimus pointed out.

"I'll carry you anyway and get you back for that later," Magnus said without batting an eye.

"We'll look though the files," Marissa assured them.

X

X

X

Magnus half carried Rodimus up the stairs while Marissa cleaned up Spike's office. By the time anyone else got up, Rodimus and Lancer were both sound asleep again and Marissa was up to her eyeballs in gangster e-mail. Spike didn't say a word after she explained what she was looking at. He just got really pale and went around checking on the security systems. Around noon, Hot Rod poked his nose in, pronounced what they were doing "boring", then ran off to practice with Foul Play. Finally Arcee and Springer got up around 1:30.

Marissa was not surprised to find the mated Autobots could hardly move...she too had heard plenty of action coming from their room while Arcee struggled to overcome her intense dose of pheromones. Marissa was surprised when Arcee pulled up a chair to watch her and Magnus as they sifted through the massive body of e-mails.

"What are you looking for?" Arcee asked.

"Anything that stands out or seems out of place," Marissa said tersely. She was more than exasperated already. Magnus kept pointing out this and that, but he was really slowing her down. The Captain knew he meant well, but he was so new to humans, and so new to interpersonal relationships that "out of place" included almost everything to him. Arcee watched over their shoulder and started making some suggestions of her own. Before long it became very apparent that the Fem-bot was far more astute in this realm than her superior officer. Neither of the girls would have dreamt of saying anything to him, but Magnus found that as Arcee's chair inched closer to the monitor his chair was being inched back.

New to inter-personal relationships or not, he knew how to take a hint - even an unconscious hint. He drew back and watched them for a while, and then quietly left them debating animatedly about what this or that could really mean. He snorted at himself. A few months ago he would probably have been offended. Today he was glad to leave Marissa with some real help and for a chance to get outside the cramped office. He went to find his nephew and was not surprised to find the "practice" session between Hot Rod and Foul Play had deteriorated into energetic flirting. He got them back on track by suggesting that they take him on as a team. It was a testament to their training that neither of them fainted, although Foul Play looked like she wanted to. They didn't last very long, but they both scored a few hits (which made Foul Play look even fainter) and they lasted a lot longer than Magnus would have predicted.

Springer sat on the sidelines and watched quietly. Any thought of asking him to join them was fore-stalled by the fact he was too tired to even make cat-calls.

Rodimus and Lancer stayed in bed until the next morning.

X

X

X

Marissa smelled the coffee before she made it down the stairs and smiled in relief.

"Morning," she said to Rodi and the newspaper.

"Morning," Rodi and the voice behind the newspaper replied. Lancer peeked out to smile at her.

"You look better," Marissa told Rodimus.

"I'm vertical," Rodimus smiled.

"You are?" Marissa asked mischievously, looking into his lap. Lancer giggled and Rodi stuck his tongue out at both of them.

"I'm glad you're down here," Marissa told him, "If you'd been up there any longer I was going to call for help."

"Who would you have called?" Lancer asked seriously.

"I don't know...Ratchet...or the doctor that helped Magnus after Optimus ran him over...maybe both."

"Ah," Lancer said. "And if you don't mind my asking, exactly under what circumstances did Optimus run over his brother? Sibling rivalry?"

Marissa snickered, "It wasn't funny at the time but...." She launched into the story of how Magnus had pushed Foul Play out of Op's path as she was chasing an over-thrown football. She explained Magnus difficult recovery and how it had launched their relationship.

By the time she was done, most of the house-hold had joined them.  
Rodimus reciprocated her story by telling her how her twin in his universe had realized she was in love with Magnus and asked him to try Rodimus' morphing equipment. He explained in detail his own introduction to this notion...including his own certainty that reality was unraveling and that his best course of action was to go out the window when Ultra Magnus had bounced into his office and demanded, of all things, a vacation.

By the time the laughter was done, breakfast was over and cleared away.

"No training this morning guys," Lancer said. "We need to get going on those fucking e-mails."

Marissa and Arcee grinned at each other. "We already did it," they announced in unison.

"No way!" Rodimus said with a grin. "Show me!"

They scurried into Spike's office and Marissa let Arcee proudly show off the thread of correspondence they'd found and flagged.

"Oh Ladies!" Rodimus cried. "I could kiss you both!" He planted one on Arcee's fore-head and picked Marissa up and spun her. "My heroes! You nailed it!"

Magnus shook his head. "I don't see what you mean...why is that one incriminating? They are talking about having dinner."

Rodimus grinned at him, "Magnus...unlike you, the perpetual eating machine, most humans are not looking for dinner at 3 am, the out of town guests are probably off-worlders, and most of all, this address is in the ware-house district. There is no where to eat at 3 am in the warehouse district."

"You still don't have proof that it's the Quints," Magnus argued gruffly.

"That's true," Rodimus said, "But it's a good lead. We never know for sure what we're looking at until we check it out in person. It's tomorrow night...we've got lots of prep time."

"Do I need to rent another Limo?" Spike asked. He sounded resigned.

"No," Rodimus said. "This time I'm driving. We are going assassin-mode this time."

"Oh...yeah...a flaming Winnebego. THAT'S inconspicious," Spike noted.

"I have a cloaking field, remember? People will either see a delivery truck or nothing depending on where we are."

"Why not just always show nothing?" Spike asked.

"Because being invisible on the freeway is not a good idea. People have this annoying tendency to change lanes right into me," Rodimus pointed out. "Not...that they don't sometimes do that even when they can see me."

All of the Autobots nodded in agreement and grumbled.

"Flying is better," Foul Play said primly.

Continued In Part G!


	7. Chapter 7

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Part G

Continued from Part F

Most of the group took off but Rodimus was far from done with Spike's computer and this time he made Hot Rod stay and watch.

"Sit!" Rodi ordered.

"But this is boring," Hot Rod complained.

"Translation...I want to go outside and roll around on the lawn with Foul Play!" Rodimus said. "SIT! This time we are really breaking into a place you Ingrate. All that training is supposed to be good for something you know."

"Oh," Hot Rod said.

Magnus, who wouldn't have missed this for the world, snickered. "I love it when you two argue," he said.

Rodi and Hot Rod looked at each other and then hit him simultaneously, "Sometimes we make a good team," Rodi noted. "Now quit trying to make us feel schizophrenic." Then he got to work. He hacked into the city's databases and got blue-prints for the ware-house they were after, as well as those for the buildings around it. He got detailed maps of everything from the power-lines to the sewer systems.

"Why would you want those?" Hot Rod asked in consternation.

"You tell me," Rodimus asked him.

Hot Rod sighed, thought a minute, and then said, "because you can use them to get in? But you'll stink! They'll SMELL you coming."

Rodimus smirked at him, and waited.

"Oh...or you want them to get out?" Hot Rod said uncertainly.

"Right," Rodimus said. "Getting into trouble is usually easy Ingrate, getting out is more challenging, as you well know. I doubt it will come to that, but you never know."

He then went on to show Hot Rod how to analyze an area...where there was likely to be car and foot traffic, where emergency vehicles were likely to come from if they were in the area for any reason, where the bad guys might park their cars, where homeless people who might see something were likely to be staying...on and on. Magnus was pleased to see his nephew really applying himself...and there was no more talk of boredom.

"So...the best place to try first would be the side-alley...not the back one."

Right, although I have ideas for every side just in case," Rodimus told him.

"My head is spinning," Hot Rod said. "How do you keep it all straight?"

"You are doing alright," Rodimus told him. "I've had lots of practice at this."

"It would be easier to just make a plan and stick to it," Hot Rod said.

"But that isn't BETTER," Rodimus assured him. "I can't tell you how many missions like this I've been on, but I can tell you that there's only been one where everything went with my first choice. I was so surprised I almost left what I went in there for behind."

"What were you there for?" Hot Rod asked, innocently enough.

Rodimus' face sort of froze. "Fingerprints...fingerprints from a dead slaver. I...made him dead for that purpose."

Hot Rod stared at his twin. "Ew," he managed.

"Right. Ew. Back to work. How should we leave?" Rodimus asked.

"Assuming the sewers aren't you first choice?" Hot Rod asked.

"Assuming is dangerous, but in this case you are right," Rodimus grimaced.

"Have you ever really used them?" Hot Rod asked.

Rodimus nodded. "Unfortunately, quite a few times."

"Ew," Hot Rod and Magnus said together.

"Heh...like I said, not my first choice, but in case we really do need to use them I sure as hell don't want to get lost down there!"

"When do we leave?" Magnus wanted to know.

"We?" Rodimus smiled. "You aren't going this time Major General."

Hot Rod snickered.

"You aren't going either Ingrate," Rodi informed him.

"Hey! I'm doing the leg-work!" Hot Rod cried.

"And lovely leg-work it is," Rodimus informed him, "but this one is assassins only, and you don't qualify yet."

"That's not fair!" Hot Rod protested.

"It's part of being an officer," Magnus stated. "There are lots of times commanders lay out plans but hand them off to others to execute. You know that."

"But how will I know how it all worked out?" Hot Rod asked, subsiding a little but still looking rebellious.

"Glad you asked," Rodimus said, tossing something his way. Hot Rod's reflexes had improved immensely and he caught it without even realizing it was coming.

"What's this thing?" he asked, looking at the odd little metal sphere Rodi had thrown. "Hey! That crystal looks like the Matrix! Sort of..."

"That is a com eye. The crystal is similar but not the same as the Matrix crystals...more's the pity. If it was the same we could have had the teleporter fixed by now. These things follow each one of the Maelstrom crew into battle. This is Lancer's tag-a-long basically. When they are off ship, Robert tracks them, helps them if he can, gets them extricated, and most of all, makes sure if they get Converted during a fight that they don't come home."

"It can follow someone? How?" Magnus asked. The little device didn't have any visible propulsion system.

Rodimus took the com-eye back from Hot Rod and twisted it. It hummed to life, levitated, and fled the room.

They heard Carly shriek in surprise and Lancer cussed.

"Rodimus! Why is this flying piece of crap in Carly's kitchen?!"

"Just showing Hot Rod something, Love!" Rodimus called. He hit a few keys on Spike's computer and suddenly the screen revealed Carly's startled face and Lancer's scowl.

"Hi Boys," she said into the camera. "Bye Boys," she said. Her hand eclipsed the view and suddenly the screen went dark.

Rodi snickered. "None of the Maelstrom crew are overly fond of their Com-eyes, by the way. They are a lot like having an over-grown mosquito in your ear all the time. In any case, you will be there my impatient twin, but you won't be in the way."

Hot Rod chewed his lip, as if thinking. "I suppose that's OK."

Rodimus laughed at him, "Even if it's not OK, it is, because this isn't open to debate. This is a stealth run, not a parade. Now...how do we leave?"

X

X

X

The next night the others milled around Lancer and Rodi's room while they attempted to get ready. Lancer had to growl a few times to get various, curious bodies out of the way. They both wore the black body suits which served as both camo and armor for them. Marissa commented with amazement at how many of their various "toys" slipped seamlessly into the seemingly tight suits. Then they all winced as Rodimus took Lancer's thick hair, put his knee against her back, and pulled as hard as he could while he braided, slipping heavy metal beads into it as he went. Once he was done he threaded several slim needle blades along the braid's length.

"What are those beads for Lancer? Don't they make your hair heavy?" Foul Play asked.

Lancer snapped her head around. The braid cracked like a whip and brushed the end of Foul Play's nose. "Yeah. It's heavy," Lancer said.

"She kills people with that sometimes," Rodi said.

Foul Play twisted up her long locks and looked at them with new eyes. "And here I thought this was the most useless substance to ever exist," she remarked.

"Don't get any ideas," Hot Rod told her nervously.

"Come on," Rodimus said, as Lancer threw on her cloak, "We're leaving."

They all filed downstairs. Once outside, Rodimus knelt in the driveway and morphed. He transformed with a certain amount of resigned trepidation... fully expecting a slew of Winnebego comments. What he got took him completely off guard.

"COOL!" Hot Rod shouted.

"It's not THAT loud," Carly remarked kindly.

"You need your eyes checked," Lancer told her with a smile.

"Lancer, really! That's your mate!" Carly cried. She looked at the large, flaming truck in her driveway. "OK...that was a surreal statement."

Lancer laughed. "That was, he is, and I love him dearly even when he hurts my eyes, but he agrees with me you know."

"Truth," Rodi said.

"If you don't like it, why don't you change it?" Arcee asked. "One thing I like about being human is you can change your look when you like. I know it's not as easy to change your paint but..."

"If he does what he wants to do, people will talk," Lancer said, grinning. "The last thing he wants right now is people asking questions about what he's up to."

"That's right," Rodimus said. "Status quo."

"Status quo is what got you a nice death wish Rodi," Marissa said.

"No...Vector Sigma got me a nice death wish...and if it had eyes I'd paint its chamber with these damned flames," Rodimus vowed, "But until I am no longer playing goofy Junior commander by day and assassin by night, the colors stay put. My sincerest apologies. What was fine on a sports car is too much on a truck. Oh go ahead and laugh Magnus. You're turning purple."

Magnus obliged him, as did the others, except for Hot Rod who was pestering his twin for statistics.

"What's your range? What's your top speed? Can I look inside the cab?" Hot Rod bounced.

"500 miles, about 250, and yes if you must," Rodimus said. If a vehicle could sigh, he managed.

"Cool!" Hot Rod shouted. The driver's side door opened and he sprang in. "This is so cool...nice speakers...where are those music disks you promised me? You have something under the front seat...is...is this a pacifier?"

"Oh! That's where that got to!" Lancer cried, pleased.

"I told you it was around there somewhere," Rodimus complained.

"I looked," Lancer assured him.

"Obviously not very well...what's the matter Hot Rod?" Rodimus asked. His twin was sitting stock still in the front seat with the lime green pacifier in his fingertips.

"Where...where does this go when you're human?" he asked.

"No idea," Rodimus answered. "Probably sub-space with the trailer..hey! Take your hands off the radio and slowly back away!"

"I want that music," Hot Rod explained.

"Touch anything and all you'll get is me singing while I beat your ass in training tomorrow." Rodimus threatened.

"What do you keep in the trailer?" Hot Rod pressed, his enthusiasm completely unhampered by his twin's sudden crankiness.

"Yeah really," Springer asked, walking around Rodimus skeptically. " It looks completely useless on a cab like that, what do you keep in that thing?"

The trailer split, and a double-barreled cannon silently slid out and pointed at the back of Springer's head. Springer, who was skeptically inspecting Rodi's front tires, caught the wide-eyed look on Magnus' and Arcee's face.

"What?" he said, turning around. He stared a long, long way back into the right barrel...he could have put his whole head into the tube, but somehow he wasn't inclined to do so. "Oh..." he said, coughing. "That's what the trailer is for," Springer grinned weakly.

"You think you would learn to keep your mouth shut," Magnus said, shaking his head.

"Oh...cool!" Hot Rod whispered. He practically fell out of the cab in his hurry to inspect the trailer. "You gotta see the targeting system on this thing!"

"Don't get any ideas!" Magnus snapped. Foul Play snickered and clambered up after Hot Rod. They spent some time admiring the weaponry. Springer followed them and grudging admitted he was impressed, but then started a debate about the best possible frequency range of various lasers. Arcee indignantly tried to referee them as the debate on Rodi's trailer heated up and climbed up to get their attention.

"What's the range on this thing?" Springer asked.

"Five miles," Lancer said. "More if I give it a boost."

"Ah...good range."

Lancer saw Magnus looking at the cannon in quick glances. "Oh just go and look Magnus. He doesn't mind," she said.

"Actually I'm feeling strangely violated," Rodimus remarked to no one in particular but Magnus had already jumped up and was inspecting the cannon with professional curiosity.

"I found another baby toy!" Hot Rod told his twin.

"Good," Rodimus said, "You can come back to our dimension with us and keep track of that, since no one else can."

"Ooo...crabby," Lancer said.

"You'd be cranky too if you had half a unit climbing all over you and finding lost baby toys," Rodimus pointed out.

"Hey Rodi?" Hot Rod asked, looking oddly at the small plastic elephant he was holding.

"What?"

"Where does all this stuff go when you're in human form?" Hot Rod asked again.

A stream of synthesized explicatives in numerous languages entertained those in the trailer for over a minute.

Lancer laughed. "That means we don't know Hot Rod. What I find funny is the he thinks all that music he hauls around in his cab belongs and is fine, but he worries about what becomes of the toys."

"Oh..." Hot Rod studied the toy in obvious consternation. "Rodi...that doesn't make any sense. If the disks don't hurt you..."

"You know the least I should be able to expect from you is some back-up, Ingrate!" Rodimus groused. Lancer grinned Cheshire style.

"But...it really doesn't make any sense!" Hot Rod decreed. He was used to his twin being more...rational.

"It is a good question though," Carly mused.

Lancer shrugged. "The first time we realized we'd lost one of Edana's toys before he morphed we both panicked, but then I realized that he carries all that music and other things which are technically foreign bodies too. Nothing's ever hurt him or shown up on scans so I quit worrying. The Jabez, may they all burn in Hades, knew what they were doing."

"We need to get going," Rodimus said. "Hot Rod don't you dare leave that thing there...give it to Daniel." No one seemed too inclined to do anything but stand there snickering at him, so the cannon suddenly reared up and aimed at the lot of them.

Springer, Arcee, and Foul Play bailed out. Magnus and Hot Rod looked at each other.

"You won't shoot your own trailer section," Magnus smirked.

"Magnus...would you like to find out where the baby toys go when I morph first hand?" Rodimus asked ominously.

Magnus and Hot Rod decided discretion was the better part of valor.

"You'd think you'd learn to keep your mouth shut," Springer told his City Commander. Magnus smiled cheerfully at the triple-changer and socked him on the arm.

Arcee rolled her eyes at her mate.

"I'm engaging the cloaking field," Rodimus informed them.

There wasn't even a shimmer. Instantly, the sleek flame-wrapped truck was replaced by an absolutely convincing generic white delivery truck in questionable repair. It was dinged up, dingy, and spray-painted with graffiti. The back fender had a sizable dent which clearly was from backing into a pole and the tail-light on that side was held on with duct tape.

"Ew," said Hot Rod.

"Well, that's an improvement," Springer remarked.

Foul Play hit him. "I like his alternate mode," she said. "This thing is NOT an improvement."

"It's ugly," Hot Rod said disdainfully.

"It's cover," Rodimus reminded him. "It's not specific enough for any one to really pay attention to, but distinct enough that if we do run into trouble any witnesses will have a clear description for the authorities that will exonerate anyone else who happens to be driving a truck like this in the neighborhood."

"Oh..." Hot Rod said thoughtfully. "I got the nondescript part, but I didn't think of someone else getting blamed for what you do."

"What I do, usually involves murdering people, Hot Rod. I try to cover my kills...but I don't want someone innocent getting blamed for them. I do sometimes frame slavers. They are cut-throat competitors, literally, and if I can set them against each other they often do my work for me."

"For an Autobot," Foul Play mused, "You are damned devious."

X

X

X

Lancer and Rodimus pulled out and headed for Miami's warehouse district. The little com-eye floated in the cab next to Lancer and annoyed her, so for the first hour the gang at home gathered in rapt attention around Spike's computer to enjoy her scowling face.

Hot Rod and Foul Play discussed the virtues of Rodi's alternate form with enthusiasm during this time until Springer and Magnus were ready to dunk them both in the pool.

"Don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself there Hot Rod? As I recall, the Matrix tacked all that stuff on," Magnus reminded his exuberant nephew.

"How does that work?" Spike wondered. "If it's just a big crystal where exactly did it get the materials to build him a trailer and that huge cannon?"

The Autobots looked at each other with perplexed faces. There was a round of general muttering and shrugging. No one seemed to want to meet Spike's eyes.

"Feh! Autobots!" Foul Play grimaced. "You really take that thing for granted don't you?"

"Hey! It wasn't in this dimension!" Springer defended.

"She's right," Magnus mused. "We don't know enough about our Matrix either...but that still doesn't change the fact Hot Rod is getting worked up about toys he may never get to play with."

"I know that," Hot Rod said. "I just think that form is awesome! Top speed for 500 miles! I could keep up with you Foul Play!"

She grinned and gave him a firm kiss. "No you couldn't," she smiled, "but it would be fun to see you try!"

"Evil Decepticon," Hot Rod purred.

"Wretched Autobot," she purred back. There was more kissing.

"I don't think I can take much more of this," Springer groaned.

"Hey! Do you guys want to pay attention? They're getting close," Marissa prodded.

"That's the route I planned out!" Hot Rod noted. "Rodi was right...there are...er...ladies on that stretch. Hey! That's a guy! .... Why is he wearing a skirt?"

This time it was the humans who muttered and wouldn't make eye contact.

"Fine...don't answer me!" Hot Rod said. "I'll ask Rodi when he gets back. He gets all this stuff."

"You do that," Spike said, looking relieved.

"Hey...they drove right past it!" Foul Play said.

"They're circling the block," Magnus noted. "They're checking it over. Look...there's a big sedan down the alley...that's where Rodi said he thought they'd park. And there's another big delivery truck. If they are meeting with Quintissons they'd have to smuggle them from the space port somehow."

"Hey! They're driving away from it!" Arcee cried.

"That's because Rodi isn't going to park," Hot Rod told her. "He says that to have a delivery truck vanish into thin air when he goes human isn't exactly inconspicuous...they're going to find a deserted street and then he's going to switch to a full cloak and morph. They'll go back on foot."

Seeing what the com-eye saw from within the cab didn't show them when Rodimus went to full cloak. Lancer got out of the driver's side in her silent way. The watchers expected him to morph down, but he didn't. Instead he held his hand out to Lancer and she gracefully climbed on. He picked her up and set her on one of the rooftops along the alley. Then he rested his hands quietly on the edge, got a good grip, and morphed. His suddenly human body dangled off the side of the building. Lancer reached over the edge to help him up the rest of the way.

"Show off," said Magnus.

The assassin pair moved like wraiths from one rooftop to the next. The watchers quickly lost track of which rooftop they were on as they took meandering path which had more to do with good shadows than a direct route. Only when Lancer made quick work of the lock on a rooftop access door did those watching get their bearings.

Opening the hatch just enough to allow their bodies through, Lancer and Rodi slipped inside like a pair of black eels. Once in, they forsook the noisy metal stairs leading to the roof and leapt up to the metal beams along the ceiling. There were too many support struts to crawl on top of the girders, so they simply clung to the undersides, scrambled noiselessly along, and watched upside down.

Underneath them, the arms meeting was already in progress.

X

X

X

The arms to one of Spike's office chairs began creaking at the sight of about ten impeccably dressed human males bargaining with a lone Quint flanked by four dull-eyed Sharkticons. Spike was not surprised some of his furniture was being abused at this time...he was surprised it was Marissa who was abusing it. Not that he disagreed with her but...

"Those filthy traitors! It's one thing for the Quints and the Cons to want that shit on Earth but to sell out your own planet! Don't they know how much damage those things do? How many kids have already been killed? OH! I hope those two tear them apart!" Marissa spat.

No one dared move while she gripped her armrests tighter and tighter, as though strangling the men she was glaring at. Her lover, in the meantime, was doing the same to his seat, but his eyes were focused on the Quint. His face slowly turned purple.

Arcee looked from Marissa to Magnus and decided her chair, parked to the rear and between them, was much too close. She quietly shuffled her seat away from them towards the wall. Springer, noticing she was no longer there to back him up, decided to do the same.

"What are they waiting for?" Magnus growled. He spoke in a voice that was utterly unlike his normal, clipped baritone. Kup would have recognized it from Magnus' early days out of the gladiator camps, before they taught him to speak again. In those days, he could only snarl.

Continued In Part H!


	8. Chapter 8

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?  
Part H

Continued from Part G

Lancer and Rodi clung to the ceiling like spiders for what seemed like forever to the impatient watchers. They were so utterly still that when they finally did move it caused Carly to yelp and jump in surprise. This was unfortunate as she was sitting on Spike's lap to save space.

Lancer dropped first. She rode a zip line down and landed in a crouch on the floor between the Quint and the men. Her eyes glowed and the Sharkticons stiffened, froze, and expired. The energy she drew from them ran along the floor in visible arcs that traveled in four erratic ribbons across the floor to her feet. It happened so quickly that the men to her left didn't have time to draw their weapons. She then channeled the power she was drawing from the Sharks towards the gang-lord and his cohorts. It reached their shoes and traveled up their legs. They all stiffened and seizured for a few seconds before passing out.

Marissa roared with triumph.

At this moment, Rodimus dropped too, but instead of using a line, he simply somersaulted mid-air and morphed, landing on his feet soft as a cat.

"Nothing that loud should be so quiet," Spike remarked. His wife elbowed him in the gut.

And then Lancer morphed as well. The crouching human woman launched herself into the air and when she landed it was not on human feet.

"Oh My God," Carly breathed.

Lancer's exo-suit was unlike anything any of them had ever seen. That it was an incredibly advanced piece of equipment was immediately obvious. When she stood to stand by her brightly painted mate the way she moved was identical to her human form. Perhaps that's what made it so eerie to the humans. They were used to robots moving... well... robotically. This thing moved like Lancer, fluid and cat-like. It had her proportions, her horns, and a wicked looking metallic "braid" with a knife-like attachment on the end. The resemblance ended there.

She was matte black and grey from head to toe, reminding everyone of Magnus' robotic form, but where the City Commander looked like a mass of impenetrable armor, Lancer's exo-suit looked like a walking corpse. Her insistence that the suit behave like her human body had forced them to strip the suit of almost every piece of external housing. Except for a few, non-bending areas the suit's hydraulics and cables were completely exposed. The Autobots and Foul Play gasped in amazement and unease. None of them would have dreamed of moving an inch without a complete set of housing...no more than a human would go into battle naked without dire need. Seeing all the inner mechanisms exposed was as disturbing to them as it would be for a human to watch another walking around with their skin removed. It was just...wrong...and for it to move with such liquid grace somehow made it worse to watch.

This was lost on the Quint.

All it knew was one moment it was happily ripping off a bunch of greedy, stupidly vicious humans, and then next it was facing an angry looking Autobot and a strange robot with a whirlpool emblem who appeared as if by magic out of nowhere.

The flame-colored Autobot closely resembled Prime's son, but he was bigger, and the Quint doubted Prime would even allow his offspring to do what this robot did.

Rodimus took two steps towards the Quint and swept its tentacles into one hand with a single motion. Then he simply continued the movement of his body to spin the Quint around in an arc that ended with it slamming with huge force into the wall. One of the five heads crumpled into oblivion.

Magnus felt something like joy...and he laughed. The others in the room around him felt the hair on their necks stand up.

"Hello Quint," Rodimus said, holding the shrieking thing upside down and lifting it to eye level to address it. Lancer pulled a long cable out of a compartment. She threw it up over a girder and looped it back down. She handed the ends to Rodimus who expertly tied the Quints tentacles into the rope. It dangled, still upside down, spinning slightly. Rodimus grinned a psychotic grin and gave the Quint a slight push. It spun lazily while it screamed.

"Kill me! Kill me!" it cried.

"Oh...I intend to," Rodimus told it cheerfully. "The question is, do I kill you with one clean shot to your laser core? Or do I take you apart one circuit at a time?"

"You are an Autobot! You're programing won't allow such a thing!" the Quint said with conviction.

Rodimus shrugged and took out a short, simple blade. He cut an inch off one tentacle and spent a moment of exaggerated care exposing wires. "You will find the is a 100 percent probability that I am a different sort of Autobot," he told it with that same unnerving smile. His eyes were venom-green.

"And I," Lancer rumbled in her demonic growl, "am not an Autobot of any kind." Taking the exposed wires in her fingertips, she inflamed its nervous system. She caused no injuries, but for a brief instant the Quint felt like every sensory circuit in its body was on fire.

"You know Mr. Quint...she can keep that up as long as she likes. She's not doing any damage, check your diagnostics if you don't believe me. We can just play this game as long as you want, or you can just be a good little Quint and tell us a story."

That was all it took.

"Wha...what do you want to know?" it cried.

"I want to know where the Matrix came from," Rodimus said.

"The Matrix! You can't reproduce it! We don't even know how it was made!" the Quint insisted.

"I didn't ask you how it was made. I asked where it came from. Does my partner need to give you a jolt to make you pay attention?"

"Oh, let her give it one anyway Rodi!" Magnus snarled gleefully.

"Magnus! That's torture!" Spike cried.

"I know! Primus how I love the way these two operate! I wish I was there! Damn! It's behaving!" Magnus said, clearly disappointed.

The Quintisson gave them coordinates to an old base it claimed was deserted, far out of Autobot territory.

"How did you assholes get the Matrix?"

"Stupid! We didn't. One of our early slaves turned up with it after the first revolt. We had an off-world encounter with him before our slaves rebelled on us and shot him down off a primitive world. He should have perished, but instead he returned to instigate rebellion. We felt there was a 98.7 percent probability he got such an alien artifact while he was off Cybertron, so we returned to where we shot him down."

"You guys are so charming that way," Rodimus growled. "You'd better talk fast, my lady-friend here is getting agitated."

The Quint did his best Blurr imitation. "The primitives that lived there used crystals like the Matrix in their rudimentary technology. We found many stones like the Matrix, but none that size or configuration. Many years off study did not replicate it."

"You are being so very helpful," Rodimus said giving the Quint a pat on a face and another playful spin. "What happened to the 'primitives'? Or did you assume you didn't need their insight into how the Matrix was made?"

This question the Quint was clearly most reluctant to answer.

Rodimus waited only a moment before snorting and grinning bitterly. "Figures. Stupid, oily parasites. You destroyed the knowledge you came for."

Marissa was reminded of her cat toying with the insects she hunted. Magnus' grin looked ready to split his head in two. Rodi's next question obliterated that smile instantaneously.

"I have some questions about Ultra Magnus too," Rodimus said causally. He smiled calmly at the four remaining faces as they twirled in front of him, one after the other. "You remember Ultra Magnus don't you? Big, mean, death-walking sort of guy. Kinda hard to forget actually."

The Quint stammered something affirmative sounding. Lancer, who had been standing like a skeletal statue reached out and grabbed the exposed tentacle. She gave it a short jolt. The Quint screamed.

"You are supposed to wait until it doesn't answer a question, Lady Lancer," Rodimus reminded her in a conversational way.

"That was for Magnus," she answered.

"Ah," Rodimus said. "OK...What did you do to his memories?"

"We put an inhibitor on them! It's standard practice...to limit chances for escape!" the Quint confessed.

"You didn't erase his memories? Is the process reversible?" Rodimus asked.

"I...I don't know...we've never tried to reverse it before," the Quintisson stammered.

"I'll bet you haven't," Lancer growled. The Quint screamed, even though she didn't touch him. She stood still again, but her heavy, titanium point tail lashed the floor and threw sparks.

"What happened to his brother you piece of shit?" Rodimus asked flatly.

"His brother?! His brother was made a gladiator too! But he escaped! One of us was careless and he got away while on the traveling circuit! We never dared move Magnus! All of his fights came to us! I don't know what became of him after that!"

"Lancer," Rodimus said, stepping away from the Quint.

Lancer's fingertips glowed and she brought her arm up over her head and down in a single sweep. She never laid hand on the Quint, but the lasers projecting from each finger sliced it like bread from tentacles to head. The various sections dangled by the cord, still rotating slightly, dripping fluids and energon to the floor. Then she drew energy from it back into herself....she pulled and pulled until the very atoms in the Quints body began to slow. It grew colder and more brittle by the second. She reached out and flicked it with a long talon. It shattered like a frozen rose, falling into dust at her feet.

Magnus, who had been sitting stock still when Rodimus mentioned him and his brother surged to his feet and roared incoherently. His rescuers would have known that sound. Marissa was cursing herself for letting him watch this. He had been acting so much better...so normal...but underneath it all was a wounded animal in a blood frenzy. She cursed Rodi too, for not warning her that he would ask the Quint about Magnus and his sibling. The others in the room scrambled away instinctively, but Marissa reached for Magnus' arms.

"Magnus! I'm here!"

"I know Marissa," Magnus said. That terrible grin was back.

"Are you alright?"

"No. But I will be. My memories are still there...and my brother...my brother might be alive. Even if he isn't, at least I know he isn't still in their possession," Magnus said. His voice was hoarse. It was a fear he'd never confessed to anyone...that somehow, somewhere, his brother was still suffering. Magnus had never realized just how much of a burden that worry was until it was unexpectedly removed. His brother might be dead...but at least THEY didn't still have him.

Marissa, watching his face realized to her horror that he had held on to that fear all this time and she had never addressed it. At the same time she was glad she no longer needed to.

X

X

X

In the warehouse, Rodi and Lancer switched back to human form and watched their unconscious human captives for signs of awakening. They waited about 10 minutes, during which Lancer's demonic features faded. She picked up their blasters one at a time and drained them. She skillfully searched them, found their knives and melted them. Then she tied their hands behind their backs. Rodimus paced a bit. Finally, he looked around and found a fire extinguisher.

"You are impatient," his mate accused.

"Yup," he answered, and then turned the extinguisher on the men on the floor - aiming for their waists regardless of whether they were laying face up or down.

Ten unconscious men miraculously transformed into ten cursing gangsters. They looked up to see one apparently unarmed woman and a man with a fire extinguisher.

They were not impressed.

The one closest to Lancer said, "Cunt, I don't know who you are or what you did, but I'm gonna make you pay me back on the head of my cock!"

Lancer's expression didn't change, she just cocked her head to one side as if curious. As he struggled to his knees to lunge at her she simply lashed out with her right foot.

Having been caught by those legs in training many times those watching knew Lancer kicked with precision and force. Obviously she had been holding back with them...certainly she had never targeted any of them in the groin. All the men winced.

The gangster didn't make a sound. He toppled to the side, with blood staining the front of his nice, tailored pants.

"Good!" Marissa shouted. "Traitor!"

Magnus looked at her, "I don't want any comments from you later about my laughing about the Quint, Marissa!"

The other gangsters were all frozen, not because Lancer had kicked one of them in the balls, but because Rodimus was holding a sizable blaster on them.

"Morning boys!" he said cheerfully. "Did you enjoy your refreshing shower? You smell better anyway."

"Listen Cop, the D.A. isn't going to prosecute any of us! I promise you! Now do yourself and your little bitch a favor and go home to your family while you still have one!" one of the body-guards threatened.

"Ah...but your problem is that I am not a cop....and the D.A. isn't going to have to worry about any leverage you have on them, because you are going to turn State's witness today."

The men laughed at him. "You are really hilarious," one of them told him.

"So I've been told," Rodimus said. His smile never wavered.

"OK, Asshole. I'll bite. What makes you think we are gonna roll over for the likes of you two? Especially if you ain't cops."

"Well, that's where you have a choice," Rodimus said. "Do you want the shit kicked out of you by an assassin with psychotic tendencies, in which case I am at your service, or do you prefer your assassin with demonic tendencies? In that case you talk to my lovely Lady."

"You are fucking out of your mind, Asshole!" the same man stated.

Rodimus swung at him with the fire-extinguisher and knocked the man's front teeth down his throat. "I just explained that to you," Rodi said, still smiling. At this point the eight remaining men tried to rise to their feet, and Lancer fanged out.

The response from the gangsters was instantaneous and a bit stunning to Rodi and Lancer.

Lancer demonic transformation was always shocking to her enemies. Certainly, no one was ever glad to see anything moving that fast with that many pointy appendages coming their way. However mutants were fairly common in Lancer's dimension and even though her transformation wasn't the result of mutancy, most people assumed it was. In other words, they thought she was a dangerous mutant, but not some messenger for the wrath of God.

In this universe, mutants were unheard of. The wrath of God seemed much more likely to the men watching a simple blonde woman growing horns and fangs, and beginning to glow.

Three passed out, two wet themselves, two fell to their knees and begged Heaven for mercy, and one simply stood there screaming.

Lancer and Rodimus looked at each other in gleeful surprise.

X

X

X

A few hours later (at about 6 am.) a slightly different white delivery truck (different dents, different graffiti) pulled into Spike's driveway and was met by a crowd in various states of emotional extremis.

Hot Rod was livid. "I can't believe you made me plan out all of those different escape routes and everything when you didn't even NEED them!" he told his twin before Rodimus even rolled to a stop.

Lancer got out of the cab and Rodimus went to full cloak and transformed. Then he morphed down to confront his irate twin.

"We did need them. We wouldn't have gone without them."

"But it wasn't even a contest...you just took control of everything right off. That was really cool by the way, but you sure didn't need the plans for the sewers. Those were a lot of work!"

"You never know. Surprises happen," Rodimus said. "We were certainly surprised by their reaction to Lancer's horns!"

Hot Rod snickered. "They're being booked at the precinct right now. Most of them can't confess fast enough. Spike says he had better never find out how you hacked Miami Dade PD's security cameras by the way. I think he's getting really pissed at you for that kind of stuff. Besides, when they totally freaked about Lancer's horns that made it even EASIER for you. You didn't even have to do any fighting!"

"Don't sound so disappointed, Ingrate. Yeah they just caved, but I didn't allow for that kind of response Hot Rod...I just didn't think of it...and most of the time over-sights like that work against you, not for you," Rodimus explained.

"He's right, Hot Rod," Magnus said, "You have to be prepared for the unexpected...like this!" He reached out and grabbed Lancer in a crushing bear hug.

Lancer who saw him coming just in time to not over-react endured the rib bending squeeze with consternation.

"To what..." she gasped when he let her go, "do I owe the pleasure?"

"For making that Quint cry! And then for making it die!" Magnus told her happily. He then grabbed Rodi and treated him to a similar embrace. "That was a thing of beauty. I don't know what to say. It just disintegrated... wonderful. What made you think to ask it about me and my brother?"

"Yeah!" Marissa barked. "You might have warned me!" she was trying to sound indignant, but was too happy about the gangsters confessing away downtown to really pull it off.

"I wasn't sure we'd have a chance to ask," Rodimus said, "I didn't want your hopes up. I also didn't want you insisting on joining us, which you would have."

"You aren't leaving me behind for the next mission!" Magnus insisted. "I'm going with you to that base."

Rodimus laughed. "I wouldn't dream of denying you."

Magnus hugged him again.

"OK, Man. You are wigging me out a little," Rodi told him.

"HAH!" Foul Play cried. "Wigging YOU out is he?! You should have seen them! Marissa was turning purple over the traitors and he was turning purple over the Quint! Purple is NOT a natural color for a human! We thought they were going to explode! You left us in harm's way!"

"Did anyone get hurt?" Lancer asked.

"Well...no," Foul Play admitted.

"Then you weren't in harm's way," Rodimus told her. He looked over the rest of the crowd. Most of them were a little pale. "Is that why everyone looks like wrung towels? Because the M&M's over-reacted?"

Springer, Arcee, and Carly nodded vigorously.

"And because you are going to get me arrested with all of your damned hacking Rodimus! My computer is linked to the cameras in the chief's offices at the damned precinct!" Spike accused his unrepentant house guest.

"You worry too much. You're going to go prematurely grey," Rodimus told him.

"Is my twin grey?" Spike asked.

"Entirely," Rodimus said.

"Is he bald?" Spike demanded.

"No," Rodimus answered.

"Then I don't care if he's grey! Quit hacking into everything in sight! Next it'll be the Pentagon!"

"Oh...I did that the other day, but they didn't have much on these gun runners. The Secret Service had some good stuff on their money laundering and counterfeiting stuff though," Rodimus said. He grinned and then took off as Spike chased him into the house.

"I don't think it's a good idea to keep these people up all night," Marissa said thoughtfully, watching Magnus and Hot Rod bound off after the first two.

X

X

X

Lancer and Rodi showered to "get the Quint and gangster germs off," and then almost everyone went to bed.

Except Magnus.

He drove Marissa crazy rolling around restlessly and talking to her every few minutes. He couldn't settle...couldn't get comfortable. She grumbled in her sleep and fought back for the covers, so he got up and wandered around Carly's house aimlessly.

In spite of being up all night, Lancer and Rodimus were out of bed by noon, only to find Magnus going on 28 hours with no sleep.

"Why are you up?" Rodimus asked.

"I couldn't relax. I keep thinking about my brother...you don't know what it means to me to know the Quints don't still have him," Magnus said.

"Yes I do," Rodimus told him.

Magnus blinked at him.

"Goldbug..." Rodimus said.

Magnus paled briefly, then nodded. "I should have guessed...I don't know why I didn't think of that."

"Could it be that you haven't had any sleep in the last day and a half?"

"Possibly," Magnus conceded.

"How's about going back to bed then?" Lancer suggested.

"OK," Magnus said, but then he began puttering around the kitchen and then wandered out onto the lawn where he paced until everyone else got up.

Lancer and Rodi, knowing how to pick their battles, went to Spike's office to hack into Teletran 2.

"Whatcha doing?" Hot Rod asked his twin a few hours later.

Magnus walked past the office door right to left.

"I'm hacking your dad's personal mainframe," Rodimus said.

"Oh," Hot Rod answered. He paused. "Why? You could just call him and ask for whatever you want."

Magnus walked past the office door left to right.

"Yeah, but this is more fun," Rodimus replied.

"Oh...OK." Hot Rod accepted. "What are you looking for?"

Magnus walked past the office door right to left.

"I'm just getting as much info as I can on the coordinates the Quint gave us."

"Do you think it was telling the truth?" Hot Rod asked.

Magnus walked past the office door left to right.

"Hard to say. It cracked pretty quickly but I can usually tell if they're lying," Rodimus said. He and Hot Rod looked at each other.

"Their lips are moving!" they said in unison. Then they laughed at each other.

From the couch Arcee yelled, "Quit it you two! That's creepy!"

Rodimus whispered quickly to his twin and then they yelled, "We love you Arcee!"

"Freaks!" she cried.

Magnus walked past the office door right to left.

"How long do you think he can keep that up?" Hot Rod asked.

"Until he wears his feet down to nubs...maybe not even then."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Can't you guess?" Rodimus asked his twin.

"I can always tell when you're giving me a 'Prime' lesson," Hot Rod complained. "You answer everything with a question."

"You could always try just getting it dumped on you like I did," Rodi reminded him.

"No thanks! I'm not really complaining by the way...I just don't know why you do that."

"Because when you are the boss everyone expects you to have all the answers, even if you don't have a fucking clue. There are always lots of questions, damned few answers, and not many people you can get away with asking. There...I answered one. Now...what's wrong with Magnus?"

"Well...there was all the stuff with the Quint yesterday...and his brother," Hot Rod mused.

"Right. See? Thinking for yourself and not even a bruise. Now, one of your people is restless. What can you do for him?"

"Well...telling him to sit won't do anything. He always moves around when he's upset."

"My dimension too. Wanna know what I do about it?"

"Yeah..."

"I find something all that wonderful, wasted energy can be focused on, and I throw him at it. Got a restless Magnus? Point and shoot! Amazing amounts of work gets done with a well aimed Magnus," Rodimus informed his twin.

"You are very manipulative Rodimus," Hot Rod told him.

"That would be the definition of 'Prime', Ingrate. MAGNUS! Front and center!"

"WHAT!?" Magnus snapped.

"Get your shoes. We are going for a ride in the Winnebego!"

Continued In Part I!


	9. Chapter 9

Maelstrom Chapter 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 3 "Getting to Like You?"

Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 32  
Conversations in the Kitchen _Chapter 3  
Getting to Like You?  
Part I

Continued from Part H

The three of them drove to the Miami-Dade Spaceport. Rodimus had the location and access codes to the shuttle the Quint had landed. His vehicle mode was "dressed" as the white delivery truck again, but from the inside his passengers couldn't see any change.

Rodimus treated them to some of his music on the way.

"I burned you a disk, Hot Rod. The entire collection. Just promise to keep it under wraps until the artists have had time to write them all OK? I burned you one too Magnus," Rodimus told him.

"Me? I don't want any of your music!" Magnus protested.

"Hah! You were digging some of it, but that isn't the point. The disk I burned you is my secret anti-Sharkticon device. Wanna hear my copy?" Rodimus asked.

"Sure!" Hot Rod cried.

"Secret anti-Sharkticon device?" Magnus sneered. "A music disk?"

Rodimus chuckled....and turned up the volume.

"EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!"

"AHHH!" Magnus screamed, throwing himself back in his seat.

"COOL!" Hot Rod yelled.

Rodimus snickered and turned the volume back down to loud, rather than deafening.

C+C Music Factory continued insisting they were going to cause perspiration.

"You crazy bastard! What are you doing?!" Magnus roared.

"Showing you my secret anti-Sharkticon device," Rodimus explained, as if that were obvious. "You really do need to get some sleep Major General."

"You need a grip on reality! I'm going to throttle you!" Magnus threatened.

"If you throttle my steering wheel, we'll crash," Rodimus pointed out.

"I hate you," Magnus said in resignation.

"You love me, and you love my secret anti-Sharkticon device too," Rodimus told him.

"Why would I even like a crazy Asshole who thinks music like this is an anti-Sharkticon anything?!" Magnus growled.

"Because it works? OO...and because humiliating Quints makes you happy?" Rodi suggested.

Magnus was silent...he didn't want to respond...but he couldn't deny it. The mention of Quint humiliation had his attention.

"How does it work, Rodi?" Hot Rod asked. Apparently he had no trouble at all having faith his twin could make music work against the Quints. The very idea...

"What is the defining quality of a Sharkticon?" Rodi asked.

"Uh-oh...here we go," Hot Rod said. "Another Prime lesson."

"Stupid," Magnus said.

"Right! Stupid!" Hot Rod agreed with enthusiasm.

"I was referring to this conversation," Magnus said sullenly. How he wished there really was such a thing as a secret anti-Sharkticon device.

"Why are they stupid?" Rodimus asked.

"Because the Quints don't want another Transformer rebellion on their tentacles, that's why! Asshole," Magnus snapped.

"Ah! So they are stupid so that they will be obedient!" Rodimus said. "And what is the very loud voice on this disk ordering everyone to do?"

"Um...dance...?" Hot Rod said uncertainly. Surely it couldn't be that easy.

"The Quints," Rodimus drew them a picture, "in their paranoia, have made their little minions incapable to thinking for themselves even a little. So you take over their communications and blast them with this. The first thing they hear is an order to dance...and every other song after this reinforces it. I promise you...if you lock the Quints out of their speakers and play this, every one of the lower ranked Sharks will happily dance while you walk right by them."

"You can't be serious...." Magnus muttered. His eyes were wide...it was stupid...it was crazy...

"It works Magnus. It does. Just make sure you warn your troops or they will stand around laughing. I feel sorry for the Sharks...they really do seem to enjoy it, and I think it's a new feeling. Lots of them won't stop even after you turn it off."

"And then you just walk in?" Hot Rod asked, incredulous.

"Having cut the Quints off from their muscle, it never takes long," Rodimus said. "Just make sure the word doesn't get out or the party's over."

"That is..." Magnus started. His eyes were still expanded, as if taking in a glorious vista.

"Yes...?" Rodimus prompted.

"That is the most insane...the most asinine...the most BRILLIANT thing I ever heard! Rodimus! You are a GENIUS! A deranged genius! Music! An offensive weapon! Genius!"

Hot Rod grinned, then frowned. "Hey! How am I gonna get credit for any of this stuff if you keep spilling before I've had a chance to think of it?!"

"Oh..." Rodimus said, genuinely contrite, "Sorry Hot Rod. I was just trying to cheer Mags up. That was stupid."

"Hmmph," Hot Rod said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Lancer says I'm supposed to tell you she thinks I'm stupid too, but that it's not like you aren't always thinking about stuff anyway."

Hot Rod softened. "It's OK...I just like it and wish I had thought of it first."

"We're here," Rodimus said. They drove into the shuttle ports. Magnus worried when security stopped them and did a random vehicle search. Rodimus didn't say anything during the inspection of course, but in spite of the mirrors under his chassis looking for bombs, the illusion held. So did Hot Rod and Magnus' nerves, barely.

When they finally were allowed to pass, they found the shuttle right where the gangsters told them they would but Rodimus didn't stop next to it.

"That's it," Hot Rod told his twin.

"I know, but we aren't just going to stop in front of it," Rodimus informed him.

"Why?"

Rodimus sighed.

"OK...fine. Thinking for myself," Hot Rod said impatiently. "You got all the gangsters, but maybe some of their friends knew about the shuttle...and probably the Quint's friends too. It must have another vessel nearby...this is a human shuttle. It couldn't fly a Quint ship into Earth's space."

"Next time don't bother asking," Rodimus said.

"Do you really think there is someone there?" Hot Rod asked, "Or is this another better safe than sorry thing?"

"Actually, I think there is a very high probability someone is there," Rodimus told him. "Our mafia friends may be singing like little birds for us, but they as good as told us they had people within the system on the take, or at least under pressure to help them. Those people will surely be informing the rest of the organization that our new friends have switched sides. As for the Quint end of things, they tend to work in small groups, but they rarely work completely alone. Therefore I am sure at least one more Quint is out there wondering what happened to its partner and it is only a matter of time before it comes looking."

"So what do you plan to do?" Magnus asked.

"Well...first I need a place to park," Rodimus said. He drove around for a while, complaining about airports in general and Miami in particular. They hit a few detours through the area which were under construction "for improvements to serve you better."

"Bullshit!" Rodimus cursed. "I'm from the bloody future and not a damned thing ever gets any better. They just say that to keep you from crashing the gates."

Finally he found a place and backed in. Hot Rod and Magnus got out and waited in confusion. They heard the cab section detach from the trailer. The next thing they knew Rodi in human form was crawling out from under the trailer. The illusion of the dinged up white truck never faltered.

"What the hell?" Magnus asked.

"Mags there are cameras everywhere...the truck can't just suddenly disappear," Rodimus explained.

"So you're in human form, but the trailer stays Autobot?!" Hot Rod exclaimed. "Cool!"

"No...not cool. Unnerving. I hate doing this...I'm in human form but I keep getting readings from the trailer which is just the wrong kind of sensation. Let's get going so I can rectify that. I like to be one or the other not both!" Rodimus said through gritted teeth.

"OK...what now?" Magnus asked.

"We become invisible by acting like we don't care who sees us," Rodi said.

"Huh?" Hot Rod asked.

"Oh...just follow my lead," Rodi said. He led them around the shuttle parking area slowly and somewhat erratically, making sure to stay in full view of the cameras. They stopped and talked in front of several different styles of shuttle and held an animated conversation about the pros and cons of each, as if they were thinking of buying one and were here to have a look around without any salesmen to pressure them. They passed over the one they were after with little discussion, but a quick moment was all Rodi needed to scan the shuttle with his hexagonal device. There was no sign of life on board, but he still led them away from it again. They went back to the trailer and he walked within the illusion field, morphed, transformed, and reconnected with the trailer in under five seconds. Then they left the parking lot.

"You really are paranoid, aren't you?" Hot Rod mused.

"In my universe there are mutants who can track you by scent Hot Rod. Mutants who can track your psychic impressions too...paranoid doesn't even begin to describe it."

Taking them outside the security zone near the air/space port Rodimus went full cloak and pulled off the side of the road. He made them get out again. Stepping out onto the grass on the road side, Magnus fought a fruitless battle between being impressed and impatient. He expected to see more of the later in Hot Rod's demeanor, but the boy was concentrating. Magnus surmised his nephew was brimming with questions but was trying to answer them himself ths time.

Magnus had no such qualms. "Well?"

"Well, now we walk," Rodimus told them.

"It's more than a mile back," Magnus pointed out.

"Well, you shouldn't have tired yourself out pacing Carly's living room. I bet you did five miles this morning," Rodimus grinned at him. "Sit here if you're tired."

"I'm NOT tired!"

"Well then...let's quit bitching and go!"

X

X

X

A few hours later, the mangy white truck pulled into Spike's driveway. Hot Rod bounced out of the passenger side and excitedly ran off to find Foul Play to tell her how it went. His energy and enthusiasm was no surprise to anyone.

That Magnus was almost as bouncy was.

"LOOK!" he yipped at Marissa.

"That's a music disk, Magnus," Marissa informed him. "Did you ever get any sleep?"

"NO! But I got this!" Magnus crowed. And then he laughed the same sadistic, gleeful laugh he had watching Rodi torture the Quint.

Marissa's eyebrow's migrated north.

"And that is....?" Marissa asked.

The explanation poured out of Magnus like a rip-tide.

Hours later, when he gave Optimus the identical enthusiastic information, Optimus quietly decided that either his son's twin, or his brother, or both had lost their minds.

X

X

X

Magnus was finally running out of his over-tired steam by early evening. He flopped drowsily on the couch and Marissa cuddled up with him to watch the news. Carly nursed Daniel in her rocking chair. Spike sat at the table recording expenses in his "Op Owes Me" ledger. Lancer and Rodimus were going over the scant information the boys had gleaned from the Quint shuttle on Spike's computer, and the two younger couples were outside playing in the pool.

The news anchor began the evening's report with a dramatic announcement that a new Decepticon of some suspected rank had appeared in a skirmish with the Arielbots that day. Everyone in the room was suddenly focused on the TV.

The brief footage "captured on scene over New York" showed a sleek, purple, and futuristic aircraft.

Rodimus, forgetting himself, grunted in surprise and muttered, "Cyclonus...how'd he get here before Unic...OOOFF!" Lancer elbowed him in the gut.

Magnus turned around to glare at the alternate dimension Autobot. "I take it you are familiar with this one," he rumbled.

Rodimus sighed and Lancer shook her head at him. Then he shrugged. "Painfully," Rodimus finally confessed.

Magnus arched an eyebrow.

Anything Rodi might have admitted at that moment was interrupted by Hot Rod and Foul Play coming in. Foul Play took one look at the screen and said, "Oh no! Cyclonus!"

"You know him?" Magnus asked. It never dawned on him that he was asking Foul Play to betray her people with information...but it never dawned on her either.

"Not personally, Sir. But there were rumors that he was coming. No one knows where he came from...just that he rocketed up in Megatron's esteem terrifyingly fast. No one quite knows how he did it, and that makes everyone very nervous about him," Foul Play explained. Not answering honestly never even crossed her mind.

Marissa and Lancer smirked at each other.

Magnus turned back to Rodi for more answers.

"I was hoping you forgot my little slip there," Rodimus said.

"I bet you were," Magnus said. He stared at Rodi and waited. "Well?" he prompted.

"Well, let's just say that with the Decepticons completely under my deceptions, Cyclonus is the only one I still worry about," Rodimus said.

Magnus and Marissa exchanged glances and then turned back to face Prime. They waited. Rodimus smiled at them.

"GIVE!" Magnus demanded.

"OO...bossy! OK Magnus...if you have an evil twin, Cyclonus is it. He's stupidly loyal, he's calculating, he improvises, he pays attention to his surroundings, and most of all he thinks independently!"

"You sound like you respect him!" Hot Rod exclaimed.

"I do respect him. He's a pain in the diodes but he's a smart pain in the diodes. By my time-line, he shouldn't even exist here yet, but then since you have parents strange events like the one's leading up to Cyc in our dimension seem just silly."

"You care to elaborate on that?" Magnus asked.

"No, not really," Rodi smiled.

Magnus evaluated Rodi's display of teeth and decided not to push his luck.

"Hot Rod?" Rodimus asked.

"Yeah?"

"Go phone your dad. Give him the heads up on Cyclonus being smarter than your average bear and tell him to warn the troops that the dude is exactly as bad-ass as he looks. Cyclonus usually does in fact hit what he aims at. Remind him of how cute and helpful I am and then hit him up for a shuttle fueled and out-fitted for a deep space mission. We are going six light years outside of your territory and we need food, water, energon, med-kits that don't suck for humans and Autobots, and all the weapons and explosives he can spare."

"We're going?" Magnus asked.

"As soon as Op can get his...I mean our shit together!" Rodimus leered.

Foul Play and Marissa found it unnerving when Magnus and Hot Rod cheered and jumped up and down together.

**Continued in Maelstrom Chapter 34**

**Conversations in the Kitchen 4**

**Hoping you like me too....**


End file.
